Growing up with anxiety was quite a ride. I was always making sure my school work was perfect, always made sure I got grades above an 85 (except in history and some-not all-math, sorry to burst anybody's bubble but I never liked history, and math I was always on the fence about). I remember staying up for days in high school just to make sure my papers were done and done well, three times over. I made National Honor's Society, I was Pro-Merito, I graduated with something like a 3.89 GPA. Then, I went to college. I started to struggle a lot more with my anxiety. All of a sudden, I was struggling with school, I was struggling to just simply function. I knew I needed help, I needed to be educated on what was really going on in my body, and I needed to get myself back on track. Eventually, I did. I've been working extremely hard towards it every day. There's still days that I struggle, but it's definitely improved.
People for the most part have been very supportive. They've given me great advice. Of course, there are those who do not support it, and for some reason I hear very similar reactions, which I have summed up into 5 categories.
Generally, the 5 things I wish people would stop saying about my anxiety:
1) You’re overreacting.
If I could turn off the constant thoughts in my mind-I would. I would turn off how the TV could catch on fire if it is not turned off before leaving the house. I wouldn’t stay up for 3 days to study for my exam. I wouldn’t be overly upset when someone says a snide comment because my mind likes to remind me 30 times in the next 5 minutes what they said- it’s right, believe it, dwell on it-you need to. I promise you. If I could not think at all I would absolutely love it.
2) It’s not real.
This is probably one of the most common comments I hear about anxiety. It’s all in your head, it’s not real it’s just you overthinking. EXACTLY IT IS IN MY HEAD OH MY GOSH THANK YOU. It is overthinking. It is constant overthinking that can’t be stopped. No matter how hard I try to get rid of it I can’t. I can’t just get over it. It’s not a breakup with a boyfriend or a broken cellphone-it’s a mental illness. And it is most definitely so real. Honestly, I can’t just take a magical pill and have it disappear like I would if I had strep throat. I wish I could. If somebody makes a pill one day that cures anxiety forever instead of just easing it and that makes me feel like a zombie- I would love to be the first to know. And I will buy it faster than you could blink an eye.
3) You’re crazy.
You’re wrong, and you’re an asshole, moving on.
4) You’re just stressed out.
To be fair, I thought this was a synonym for a very long time because I wasn’t properly educated on what anxiety actually was. Yes, stress is involved. Maybe I have about 100 things to do, each taking an hour but only have about a day and half to do them. Maybe I have 4 exams the next day. (That’s happened). But it is so much more than that. Anxiety is stress, sadness, anger, uncertainty, and probably about 300 more emotions balled up into one. Anxiety and stress often do go hand in hand. When I am stressed out, my anxiety is heightened. I get stressed because my anxiety won’t go away-see where I’m going? Anxiety makes the brain think of so many things constantly. Anxiety loves to be the bearer of unreal bad news: you’re not good enough, what they’re saying about you is real; they’re talking about you, when you’re not around think about the things that they say. So yes, I am stressed, but I’m stressed about my anxiety being a total dick that day. I wish I could escape both, but unfortunately, I can’t, all I can do is manage it.
5) It gets better, just relax.
Yes, I know this, but it’s not as easy as just “relaxing”. See, with anxiety, it loves to prey on “relaxing.” You need to hand in your paper 3 days early for revisions or you’re going to fail, you must be 15 minutes early to your meeting tomorrow, what if they don’t show up? I’m going to feel so dumb if I’m just standing there-I better have my phone charged so I don’t just stare aimlessly at a wall that means I could think and think and think instead of distracting myself. Yeah, it’s not as easy as just relaxing. It does get better, but please don’t tell me to just “relax”. Instead, remind me that it will be okay, just keep myself busy and focus on positive things as hard as it is to think of all the negative that could happen. Make me a list of things to do, tell me to clean my room. Suggest a new series on Netflix just please never tell me to “relax”.
Mental Illness is a very big topic right now amongst society. People are talking about it everywhere and I love it. Although there is still a very big stigma about it, I love how people all over are starting to break that stigma. Even though there is still so much more progress that needs to be made, I'm so proud of how far it has come. Please, if you have just five minutes read more on it. At least try to understand more if you can. Support those that are going through it-even just saying "I'm here for you" goes SUCH a long way. I promise.
