I don't know about you, but I've encountered a few conversations in my day that make make me hold my tongue. Among these, are the following remarks I receive upon telling someone I'm a student of Tarleton State University:

1. What's that? or, *confused silent stare

I think this is the most common, and I can't blame you. Tarleton really is the best kept secret in Texas; And we like it like that. However, this question usually leads to more awkward conversation trying to explain where Stephenville is, in return to more silent nods, until you finally change the conversation because interest is lost. It's OK to ask this question, but if I hear it one more time with even a hint of condescending or demeaning tone, I will throw hands.

2. Wow, isn't that in the middle of nowhere?

First of all, let's just get this straight. Just because a location is a town and not a happenin' and crowded city, does not mean there's literally nothing or no one there. I have nothing against cities, but sometimes living in a town like Stephenville can really teach you to appreciate the little things. Other places may try to claim the title, but this town will always be the "Cowboy Capital of the World." This tight-knit community will go to extreme lengths to help a stranger or just down right have fun with one another.

3. Greek life and sports there, are an absolute joke.

OK, come on now. If that statement was remotely close to being true, (which it's not), how would you even know that? Tarleton organizations are some of the most spirited and loyal people you will ever meet. Forming your own family at Tarleton gives you a home and support group like you've never known. We may be D2 but we can show you how these things are suppose to run, any day.

4. Isn't that some Ag school?

Well, sure. I know a few Agriculture majors and they're all equally awesome as the next person. But, I also know a few different Engineering majors, a lot of Nursing majors, Mathematics majors, Political Science majors, Music majors, Biomedical Science majors, tons of future teachers, tons of aspiring lawyers, and tons of eager doctors. Overall, pretty much everyone I've met here at Tarleton has a plan to put their individual skills and values to work in the world in a way that will be beneficial to you or your children. And they're receiving a damn good education to do so.

5. Aw, that's cute.

You know what I mean, like in a "Aw, you think you actually matter?" way. If only there was a way that I could grace you with the memories Tarleton has given me. The traditions, values, pride and bonds Tarleton has given me will stay with me for a lifetime. And for those who will never experience what all Tarleton has to offer, I pity you. I think it's cute that you feel bad for me. But, do us all a favor and stay where you're put because Tarleton is reserved for only those who deserve the finer things in life.

There you have it. You're basically one of those people who doesn't get the super funny inside joke because you just weren't there. And none for Gretchen Wieners. Bye.