Over the course of my freshman year in high school, I lost 80 pounds. It was a tough decision, sure, but it had to be done. I was seriously unhealthy, both physically and mentally. Losing weight has caused me to have several realizations about myself and how others see me.

1. People can be uncomfortable with change

After I shed the 80 pounds, a lot of people who hadn't seen me during my weight loss were definitely shocked, and most of them, like my family members, commented on my new appearance. The reactions to this huge change in my life have definitely been mixed. My family, of course, was happy for me! I have a large family, especially on my dad's side, full of health nuts and marathon runners, and they were pleased when they saw the results to my lifestyle change.

Others weren't so pleased. Several people told me that I was "too skinny" (A 21.0 BMI is not too skinny) and that I should "put some meat on my bones!" For one, these comments were rude and uncalled for. I never commented on their appearances. Why should they get to make rude remarks about mine?

I talked to my therapist about all the strange remarks, and she told me that people were pushing their insecurities about their own bodies onto me. This makes a lot of sense to me, as I know I was guilty of putting other girls down when I was uncomfortable with my own appearance. However, I have made steps to change that!

2. Losing weight doesn't make all of your insecurities disappear

When I started losing weight, I was sure that all my insecurities would go away as soon as I reached my ~goal weight~, or the magical yet insignificant number I had set as the end point to my journey.

However, this had some problems.

1. I never realized that I needed to love myself and my appearance to be truly happy with myself. Weighing a certain amount doesn't mean that you'll necessarily love yourself. You have to make yourself love yourself; it doesn't happen naturally.

2. I lost all of the 80 pounds by eating less. I didn't exercise that much, and I definitely didn't lift weights. This meant that when I actually hit my goal weight, which put me at the lower end of the healthy BMI range, I still had (and have to this day) a flabby gut, thunder thighs, and bingo wings. Needless to say, I was still insecure. My advice? Research some good toning exercises, and try to do them often.

To me, losing weight and being happy with the results takes a lot more than simply eating less than what you burn in an average day (This is called CICO, or Calories In < Calories Out). One must make a conscious effort to become satisfied with themselves when they reach a healthy weight, or all of their hard work will have been for basically nothing.

3. When I was obese, I was not only physically unhealthy, but also mentally unhealthy.

You wanna know how I managed to get up to a weight so high? Self hate and a lot of anxiety. When I was in eighth grade, I constantly compared myself to other girls in my class, especially the tall, slim, and pretty ones who were admired constantly by the guys. Mad that I didn't look like them, I turned to food to make me feel better. I would binge on tasty yet incredibly processed junk foods, then get mad that I binged, knowing that I was only getting fatter. Then I would binge yet again, creating a vicious and harmful cycle. It wasn't until I started counting calories and limiting snacking that I realized that I was mentally unhealthy. I reached out to a great therapist, who gave me tips on improving my mood and overall outlook on life, myself, and others, without using food as medicine or a crutch.

I still have problems dealing with stress and anxiety, especially since I'm in high school and drama seems to follow me everywhere. However, I've turned to coloring books and the Hamilton soundtrack to get me through life.

4. I will probably never have a normal relationship with food.

I've been maintaining my weight loss for about a year now, and let me tell you, it is as hard, if not harder, than losing weight. To this day, I have to track my food through an app on my phone, just to make sure I don't go over my daily calorie allowance. You see, if I don't track my food meticulously, I tend to go hog wild and eat everything in sight. While others may be able to maintain their weight indefinitely by following a system called intuitive eating, which means eating until they're satisfied, I will probably never be able to. I love food too much, and it's still an unhealthy obsession. Unfortunately, food is on my mind 24/7, and I can't simply give up tracking and eating whatever I want without gaining all of the weight back that I've worked so hard to lose.

5. Childhood obesity is no joke

When I was a fat kid, I still thought I was healthy. Why? I swam 4 days a week, I biked often, and I walked my precious dog a lot.

However, I was still unhealthy. I couldn't run a full mile without stopping. Some of my mile times in middle school were over 15 minutes. My knees hurt every time I ran, my lungs burned no matter how slowly I jogged, and I couldn't bear being out in the "heat" (read: 80 degree weather!) for more than a half hour or so without complaining.

Unfortunately, that was only a mild experience of childhood obesity. I never developed type 2 diabetes, thank God. Luckily, my cholesterol was good as well. Still, I never had a "normal" childhood experience of being truly fit and active thanks to my weight.

Bullying also played a huge role in my early teenage years. Being a fat, tall, and nerdy girl in middle school who also had serial crushes on boys didn't help at all. I got snide looks, pitying glances, and a whole lot of "Are you really going to eat all of that?" I got a rude awakening at my seventh grade Cotillion, when a group of boys backed away from me as I was trying to find a partner to learn some stupid dance. That really helped my self esteem!

My experience as a fat kid was one of several thousands, if not (unfortunately) millions of kids, so not every kid had the same experience as me. However, I do know that I probably would have had a better overall experience if I grew up healthier. The bullying would have definitely disappeared, and I probably wouldn't have been hated by my gym teacher.

Losing weight has changed my life drastically, and I definitely think it's changed my life for the better. I have a lot more self confidence, especially body confidence, and while I do still suffer with stress and anxiety, I don't always turn to food to solve it. I'm thankful for all of the countless truths my weight loss journey has revealed to me. While I may not be the epitome of health right now, I am so much more physically and mentally healthy than I was a couple years ago.