Moving on and getting over someone you really care about is hard. It feels like it takes forever and we start to think that we are never going to get over them. Maybe you feel like you'll never date again. Maybe you feel like you had the one and now you don't, and you won't ever find that person in anyone else. I get it. Everyone has been there one time or the other. But there are steps to getting over someone, and things you have the power to do to help aid your heart and move on. I do believe time heals all wounds, but I also believe you have control over whether or not you are going to truly move on or not.
1. Create some distance.
I remember my first heartbreak. I would go places that he was. I would hang out with his friends, because they were my friends too. I would put myself in situations to see him, and it just made it 100 times harder to move on because every time I saw him, I liked him more or missed him. I would tell myself it was okay to talk to him, we could be friends even though my heart longed for more. Do what you have to do to create as much distance as you can. Delete his number, unfriend him on Facebook, unfollow him on snapchat, instagram, twitter. Don't put yourself in situations where you know you're going to see him. Look out for yourself during this time when you are vulnerable, don't make things harder then they have to be. When you create distance you allow yourself to be without, and it shows you that you will be okay, and that is extremely important for our little hearts.
2. Recognize the GOOD and the BAD.
When you care about someone but aren't with them anymore it is so hard to see the reasons why it didn't work out. It is hard to see things that aggravated you, things that just were not right, flaws, arguments, and anything else that falls under the category of "bad". We are all flawed, no relationship is perfect, but sometimes the bad can outweigh the good when you really step back and look at the relationship and other party as a whole. You realize that although yes, there were good times, there were also bad. Maybe he was controlling, maybe he was immature, maybe he drank a lot, maybe you did not have the same dreams, maybe he was extremely selfish, maybe all he cared about was himself, who knows what it is. But when you are able to see the bad just like you see the good, you can start to understand why it's probably best that you aren't together anymore .
3. YOU CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS.
It is easy and normal to think about the person you love. It is natural, you care about them, therefore you think about them. Don't do it. Luckily, you control your brain and the thoughts that are produced there. If you want to move on, you have to stop thinking about that person you are choosing to move on from. Filling your head with what could be, what ifs, what happened, you are destroying yourself. You are going to be miserable. Moving on starts with your brain and your heart follows. When you start to think about that person, stop, redirect yourself. Go play with your dog, go pray, go read your bible, go run, go workout, go eat. Do something that makes you happy and stop thinking about what makes you sad.
4. Stop waiting and start living.
Don't wait for this person, or any person to start living your life. You get one life, whether you are single, married, widowed, crushing, divorced, whatever you are, you get one life to live, so live it without waiting on anyone. You can't map out your life, people change, dreams change, you change, opportunities come up, and life can't be planned. Don't say, well when this person comes back into my life I'll start living again, when I get married, that's when my life really starts, once I get in a serious relationship, that's when it begins. No. Your life is now. So live it with everything you have and the success you strive for will make time pass, and you'll look back on so many accomplishments you have made by just living, that you will realize your heart has healed without realizing it.
5. Don't be afraid to love again.
Some things just are not meant to be, and some things just don't work out. Everyone in your life adds or takes away something, and I hope that all these people that have come and gone in your life have added things, because I know they have mine. I learn something new with each person and heartbreak, and failed relationship and that is okay. It is okay to get hurt, it is okay to fail, because it teaches you what you want the next time, and what works for you. Don't be afraid to love again, and love with all you got, because it could be the one, and if it is not then you know you are capable of even more love. The person you are supposed to be with is going to be the person that makes you look back on all the past heartbreaks, and allows you to be thankful you gave other people a shot, and even though they did not work out, you learned more about how to love and now you get to love them with a love bigger than you imagined.
Take care of yourself while your heart heals. xoxo
