Social anxiety is a dreadful condition that no one should have to experience. This is unfortunate as people, including myself, suffer from social anxiety and have to work to overcome it every day. For those who don't know, social anxiety is like a weight that constantly pulls your head down in social situations when you're trying to look someone in the eye. Thoughts and sentences have to be forced to your brain while talking. It makes you feel utterly exhausted when talking to new people and the larger the group, the more trying it is. It's like going to an Aerosmith concert and suddenly the Wiggles run on stage. It's horribly confusing and it makes you very uncomfortable. However, there is no need to worry because I will be offering my three cents to anyone coping with social anxiety. I'm by no means an expert, but I can give you five suggestions to halt your anxiety and make communicating more effortless for you.
1. Always Be Relaxed
This can be a difficult step to attain, but it is arguably the most essential to gaining the upper hand in the twisted and fixed game of Texas Hold 'Em that is social anxiety. It is important to realize that most of these fears and insecurities are altogether irrational. No one is really going to judge you by the way you talk to them and anyone who does is not worth the time to think twice about. The only exception to this rule is if they are a real judge, in which case it's their job to judge others and you can let them off the hook. All kidding aside, the best way to achieve relaxation is through meditation or short naps. A hot shower often is effective as well. I would recommend laying in bed fifteen minutes before starting the day and listen to a calm song with a winsome melody that has meaning to you. Mine include 'Waterloo Sunset' by the Kinks and 'Bittersweet Symphony' by the Verve, but this varies for everyone. Listen to something by Slipknot if that relaxes you. Whatever calms you down. This will instill more peace in your mind throughout the day.
2. Try Saying Random Things
As stated previously, one of the most cumbersome burdens of social anxiety is your mind becoming a blank slate in social situations. In my experience, I have found spouting whatever vague idiosyncrasies come to my head often can break the silence and get an actual conversation rolling. These sayings are often not as strange as your inner voice is reminding you they are. They can often help to form a bond with the person to whom you are speaking. Even if what you say is off the back wall of left field, such as "skipping apples through my hot tub is my favorite hobby" or "kangaroos don't have the ability to jump backwards" it can open up the pathway to either unhinged humorous conversation or deeper meaning conversations. Sometimes, I have found, it can lead to both. Just remember, any conversation is better than no conversation.
3. Spend Time Observing What Others Say
The only way to get to Carnegie Hall, aside from taking West 57th Street to get to Seventh Avenue, is to diligently practice. The same holds true for fluently talking to people. Sometimes it is best to just sit and listen to what others have to say in conversation. You can use what others have to say as borrowed brush strokes for finally making conversation with a person that really matters to you. This may make you a bit of a conversational chameleon and make you have a slightly odd sense of humor. This is acceptable. Just as being lost in a cave with only a Ketchup packet is better than nothing at all, having a quirky sense of humor is better than having no sense of humor.
4. Get Plenty of Sleep
Some may sneer in derision at this step like it's beneath you, but make that sneer disappear. For the low price of a small amount of time that would be wasted playing games on your phone in the morning, you can use sleep to rest your mind to ensure optimal use when trying to talk the next day. Sleep recharges the brain and refills a spiritual energy that gives you the courage to talk to people. It can put the brain to the maximum capabilities of knowing what to say at the right time. Social anxiety has no greater weakness than a rested mind.
5. Make Yourself Talk To Others
This is my final and most difficult piece of advice. The only way to come out of your shell is to forcefully yank yourself from its grasp. Approaching a stranger may be the most petrifying nightmare imaginable, but once the conversation is started things become much simpler. I would recommend walking up and talking about something you both have in common. Though approaching the stranger is the treacherous uphill climb, you still have to carefully walk back down the hill as well. This is how the conversation can feel once it gets started. It can start to feel seamless, but don't get careless or you can careen out of control and mess something up. Just take deep breaths and say simple general things at first. This will help break down the barriers between you and help you to become friends with the person. Doing this at a regular enough basis will eventually get you in the habit of ignoring social anxiety and actually having an enjoyable life.
