When you break up with the one you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, you feel your whole heart sinking. Your knees will buckle and you will fall down and cry. One moment you felt on top of the world than the next moment your world is gone. Whether you're the one who called it off or the one being broken up with, breakups feel like a major loss. Following a breakup comes multiple nights of crying and cuddling with the box of tissues watching The Notebook. After the sea of sadness flows, a whole new set of emotions come in. These emotions could include anger, guilt, or maybe even a feeling of relief. It's all very confusing but all hurts the same. The only way to get through this awful time is learning the five steps on how to deal with a breakup.

STEP ONE: TIME TO GRIEVE

Initially after a breakup you're completely broken-hearted. During this time your friends will probably pressure you to go out and have fun to get your mind off of it. Genuinely this will work while you're out, but when you get home and your alone the pain will sink in 10 times worse. You need to give yourself a few nights to lay in bed, dive into a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and watch every sappy show or movie on Netflix that you can relate too. (One of my go-to’s was Silver Linings Playbook or Grey's anatomy.) The pain you will be feeling is natural. Do not try to fight it, and do not deny it. Before, when you were sad he was the first person you would call. Now you are probably feeling alone and depressed. Understand that this feeling will go away. Don't focus on all the amazing parts of the relationship, remember the reasons why you broke up. Remember the fights, the screaming, the hateful words, and the undeniable pain he put you through. Remember that you WILL be happier without him, even though it doesn't seem that way now. Just cry and scream and let all the anger and hurt out.

STEP TWO: DELETING MEMORIES

Step two is definitely the hardest part. This is the point when you need to stop looking through the endless pictures of each other smiling, kissing, and laughing. Stop cuddling with the teddy bear he gave you, and stop wearing all his T-shirts and hoodies to bed. All the reminders of him around you are going to keep invoking the sadness. Time to trash them! Delete all your pictures and videos off of all forms of social media. You'll probably cry while doing it, but overall it will feel empowering metaphorically deleting him from your life. While you can't erase the memories you have made with him, not being reminded of those times every time you check your Instagram will feel good. Although the once in a lifetime captured photos, such as prom, may be worth keeping. Try changing the captions instead. For example, instead of “prom with the handsome love of my life!” And a bunch of heart emojis, try just a simple “danced the night away at prom.” Try focusing on the night itself and not who you spent it with. This is a way to cope with the loss of that person.

STEP THREE: PAMPERING YOURSELF

This is a crucial part after a breakup. You DESERVE to feel good about yourself again after feeling awful for so long. Go out and get that new haircut you wanted to try out. Get a manicure and that cute hot pink polish you love. Get a massage. You're probably tense and still having trouble relaxing. This will help more than just your muscles, it will also calm your mind. Feeling good about yourself will help eliminate those “I'm not good enough” and guilty feelings. Although indulging yourself in chocolates and chips sounds like a good idea, gaining weight and breaking out is the LAST thing you want to happen after a depressing breakup. Feel good about yourself! Exercise, eat right, and embrace who you are! Love yourself and remember you don't need anyone else to tell you you're beautiful, because you are!

STEP FOUR: GIRL TIME

Now you're ready to hit the town with your girlfriends! Dress up in your cutest pair of jeans, your favorite top, and a sexy pair of shoes and head out! Spend some time with the girls and forget about ummm what's his name again?! There's so many things you can do with your girlfriends that will automatically make you feel better. For example, head to that college party, or go see that new movie. Literally anything you do with your besties is bound to be fun and will get your mind off the heartbreak. Although you don't want to do anything you're going to wake up and regret! Laugh the night away and don't constantly talk about your ex! It's okay to get it off your chest and share your pain with your best friend, but don't put a big downer on her night as well! Enjoy your time with your girls don't let it be a sob fest!

STEP FIVE: GET YOUR FLIRT ON!

Looks like you're ready to get back on your feet and get your flirt on! Don't hop right into another serious relationship but there's nothing wrong with putting yourself back on the market for a little romance. Let someone bring the butterflies back to your tummy and the blushing warmth in your cheeks. This will remind you that there are other fish in the sea who can make you feel just as good as your ex did.

Follow these steps and you will quickly mend your broken heart in a healthy and productive way. And remember as Cristina Yang on Grey's Anatomy would say “He is very dreamy. But he was not the sun, you are.” You will be just fine without him. I promise. Keep pushing yourself to be better, meet new people, and enjoy life. Don't be hung up on someone who is doing just fine without you. You are beautiful and you are brilliant. You will be just fine!