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The Five Stages of Shopping at Target

We've all been there. Let's have a moment, together

Savannah Simmons

Nov 07, 2016

Randolph College

143

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The Five Stages of Shopping at Target

We've all been there, the classic "I only needed one thing but I ended up spending way more than necessary at Target." The guilt rises but the satisfaction cancels it all out. A part of you cries while the other rejoices in the fact you now have another shower curtain that you can use in a three a.m. spur of the moment redecorating spree. As promised, here are the stages.

1. The Entry

It's time.

You have officially entered Target for ONE ITEM and ONE ITEM ONLY. You mentally prepare yourself. Bank Account Balance, check. List, check. Determination to only buy one item -toilet paper, we need a crash cart. She's going to lose it.

2. The Calm, Cool, and Calculated Cart Avoidance

You've been tempted. You see the beautifully tempting, and oddly secure confines of the red shopping cart. You tell yourself, maybe I'll get the biggest pack of toilet paper so I ABSOLUTELY NEED this cart. "Okay, fine." You think to yourself. "Grab a cart. I am not a successful head-carrying device that could possible carry the biggest pack trough the store".

3. The Need

"I need this" comes staggering into your head.. "No I don't" followed by "Okay ONE extra item won't hurt". this one item turns into six...seven...okay, you've lost count at this point but you NEED those kitty bowls and that scarf and don't forget about the shirt with the kitten that says "I'm Purr-fect".

4. Actually Getting the Item You Desperately Came For

You have finally arrived at the toilet paper isle with a cart full of cute and a wallet full of agony. Your self control (and account balance) has plummeted. Nothing is safe. You grab your toilet paper and head back to the front of the store.

5. The Checkout

Standing in line you begin to think about what is actually in your cart and what you came for. It is now your turn to be rung up. You watch as your items are neatly packed and the subtotal skyrockets. It's time to pay.

Now that you've read this I bet you want to go to Target. Insert Facebook cliché about "If I am right, you must like and share" Happy Shopping!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Five Stages of Shopping at Target

We've all been there. Let's have a moment, together

The Five Stages of Shopping at Target

1. The Entry

2. The Calm, Cool, and Calculated Cart Avoidance

3. The Need

4. Actually Getting the Item You Desperately Came For

5. The Checkout

Now that you've read this I bet you want to go to Target. *Insert Facebook cliché about "If I am right, you must like and share"* Happy Shopping!

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May the odds be ever in your favor.

Phase One: The “I got this” phase

Phase Two: The “I have time” phase

Phase Three: The uncontrollable sobbing phase

Phase Four: The “help me, I've fallen and I can't get up” phase

Phase Five: The rejoicing phase

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

Let it go. — Elsa

If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. — Thumper

Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. — Genie

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Now that you've read this I bet you want to go to Target. Insert Facebook cliché about "If I am right, you must like and share" Happy Shopping!

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