5 Signs That Your Town Is Ridiculously Small | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

5 Signs That Your Town Is Ridiculously Small

If your town has any of these characteristics, then you probably live in a very small town.

50
5 Signs That Your Town Is Ridiculously Small
Yelp

Some people enjoy living in small towns, and others dislike the idea - I understand where both views come from. Those who enjoy this environment find a peaceful charm to it, and those who do not care for society's doldrums find it to be extremely boring. Here are a few things that are familiar to all of us who, whether we like it or not, live in a small town.

1. There’s one billboard

My town has one of these – one, and only one. During the summer season it advertises the nearby orchard that produces way too much pollen (I don’t know about you, but I like being able to get fruit without getting a runny nose and having a sneezing fit…), and the rest of the time it advertises the Shell Station/McDonald’s joint (Last time I was there, they said that they didn’t serve ice cream anymore… Like, “What is a Mickey D’s without ice cream??”)

2. There’s one stop-lighted intersection

We only have one stop light in our town. In fact, it’s the only stop light in the county, so I guess that makes our town special… Then again, maybe it’s because we’re the county seat. I guess you could quote "The Brothers Bloom" in saying it’s “A one-hat town.” It wasn’t until around 2006 that our only stop light was installed. For quite a while after it was installed, nobody even bothered stopping at the red lights because there wasn’t even a law in our town that made it mandatory for drivers to stop at them. Yeah… we had no clue that a driver is supposed to stop at a stop light. Some might find that to be an obvious fact, but I guess you can’t assume the obvious nowadays.

3. The closest civilization is at least 35 miles away

I’m not exaggerating. Unless you are looking for a low-end grocery store or a church, then you’re going to have to drive 35 miles. The sign above is five miles south of the stop light, and I live a little south of here. If you want to go shopping, to the movies, to your favorite chain restaurant, or even to see your friends, then you will have to drive quite a distance. The two closest lively areas are both equidistant from here: Lynchburg (to the south) and Charlottesville (to the north). What you drive is dependent on where you’re from. Here, some locals will drive their lawn mowers with the blade up (probably no more than 5 to 10 miles though), while others will drive a car/truck of some form or another - they may or may not have doors on them.

4. The Fourth of July parade is "Special"

Yup, each year we have a parade - of sorts. Except for the fact that it’s for Independence Day, it’s kind of embarrassing actually. Like many parades, we have the typical bikes, jacked cars, and farm kids riding the slowest tractors ever. Oh, and we also have the EMS vehicles... However, because the town is so small and apparently doesn't have enough of their own, the majority of EMS vehicles exhibited in the parade are from several other towns, but even that is not the height of the parade for many of the locals. Apparently, the parade can’t end until after the local Porta-John rental business drags their merchandise down the street – it’s a significant display that you can’t miss… I know that because I haven’t watched the outhouse exhibit since at least the last parade, and I still don’t miss it.

5. The most prominent business is a dinky ice cream shack

The local ice cream shop looks like it has the most customers out of pretty much any business in the town. Sure, the Food Lion probably has a few more customers than the Dairy Isle, but this lean-to is very close. The Dairy Isle serves all year around, and it seemingly has more customers when there’s cold and snowy weather than when the weather is hot and sunny. You’d think that ice cream would have a higher demand in the summer than in the winter, but it looks like it’s the other way around here.

What's your idea of a small town? Be sure to comment below!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

12 Midnight NYE: Fun Ideas!

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

13765
Friends celebrating the New Years!
StableDiffusion

When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

Keep Reading...Show less
piano
Digital Trends

I am very serious about the Christmas season. It's one of my favorite things, and I love it all from gift-giving to baking to the decorations, but I especially love Christmas music. Here are 11 songs you should consider adding to your Christmas playlists.

Keep Reading...Show less
campus
CampusExplorer

New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

2706
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 14 Stages Of The Last Week Of Class

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1643
black marker on notebook

December... it's full of finals, due dates, Mariah Carey, and the holidays. It's the worst time of the year, but the best because after finals, you get to not think about classes for a month and catch up on all the sleep you lost throughout the semester. But what's worse than finals week is the last week of classes, when all the due dates you've put off can no longer be put off anymore.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments