In college I've heard the phrase "best friends" way too many times to count. In my experience, nearly every best friend I've had has let me down or broken my heart in some way. I'm definitely not perfect either. I'm sure I'm guilty of the exact same things. The truth is, we overuse the term "best friends." Like much else in our culture the phrase has lost it's definition and more importantly, it's lost it's promise.
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1. Always remember the little things.
If you're a BFF, you may not have the best memory, because we're human and all, but you should remember the important things in your best friend's life. Everyone remembers birthdays, but remember the super seriously hard test they've been studying for for two weeks and send her a good luck or a prayer message right before! Be sure to write down your bestie anniversary too. I'm not sure about you, but I only have two best friends and the reason they're so special is the amount of time they've stuck by my side.
2. Care about her heart like you care about your own.
When your best friend is telling you about her boy problems, do you think about what she is saying or do you just listen and prescribe the usual night at the bar to make things better? Do you tell her how you really feel or just what you think will make her mood better and easier to tolerate so that she won't ruin the night? When it comes to your best friend's heart, sometimes you have to be bold and take time with them, even if it means being there for them when all they want to do is let their heart break a little more and eat ice cream all night. Be there for her as long as she needs. A band-aid won't hold together an avalanche, and that's exactly what a heart ache is. [#bowsbeforebros]
3. Consider her goals and hold her accountable.
It's so important when you're best friends with someone that you recognize their goals and motivate them to achieve them. You'd want that in a BFF too, right? When you notice they are slacking, do you take the time to be honest or do you just let them do their thing? Sometimes, we don't realize that there are little moments that can make or break big things. As best friends we may be the only ones close enough to give constructive criticism that they will take in a positive way. Don't just assume that they aren't cut out for their goals or that they don't want them anymore! Ask them why they aren't trying or have slacked off. It's our job to be there for our best friends, even If it means a swift kick in the butt.
4. Absolutely DO NOT hold a grudge.
Because she's your best friend, I'm sure y'all spend a lot of time together. I'm sure with all of that quality time, you get in little fights over stupid things. No matter who's right and who's wrong, it's important to apologize for what you did and thank her for putting up with you (and vice versa). Most importantly you just have to let it go. You can't hold it over her head and keep bringing it up. It's so toxic for a friendship to keep bringing up old crap! We're PEOPLE not PLUNGERS! (Brownie points, if you get it.)
5. BE SERIOUSLY HAPPY FOR HER.
In the peaks of her love life and in her successes, shut out the jealousy and be SUPER-STOKED AND EXCITED WITH HER! There is no better thing for a friendship than to actually be happy for your bestie when the stars align for them. From the tiny things in life like her crush texting her first or a call back after a first interview, to the HUGE things like when he proposes to her under the century tree—you should be waiting with a confetti popper and a bottle of Cupcake Moscato ready to celebrate another one of life's victories with her!
Dedicated to my two best friends who have over time become my sisters. Thank you for teaching me what friendship really is. I LOVE Y'ALL!
Autumn, thank you for going through the awkward years with me! Here's to the decade of laughter we've endured so far, and the decades of our friendship that have yet to come.
Haily, thank you for loving me more than I love myself at times and always being there for me without question. No matter where I am in life, I know that you'll always be there (even if you're a billion miles away in Africa on your life long mission)!
