I want to get this out in the open before you think my boyfriend and I are complete losers. We do go out. I go out with my friends, he goes out with his friends, but when we're together, no. It's not that we don't like people, just kidding, yes it is. When we're with our own friends, it's kind of a force, no one is there to say it's socially acceptable to stay in and binge watch Netflix. When we're together, though, it's always socially acceptable to ditch your plans. And sometimes, we just have more fun together. Being an antisocial couple is never a bad thing. Technically, you're not even antisocial because you're being social with each other.
1. You've watched every single episode of "Bob's Burgers" twice.
Just because it's the only show you two can agree on. It's not like you're actually agreeing, just, like, no one objects. I mean, I'd much rather watch "Grey's Anatomy," and I'm sure he'd much rather watch "Family Guy," but I guess it's a happy medium.
2. A dinner date is Chipotle.
It's fast, easy, and you only have to talk to like three people as they take your order. You spend all of a half an hour in there, then you can bounce real quick. If you see people you know, eating in at Chipotle instantly becomes take out.
3. Once one of you is on the couch, there's no way you're going out.
Imagine this: You're all ready to go out. Keys in hand, and all of a sudden, your boyfriend has to poop. This is going to take a while, you think to yourself, so you sit down on the couch and press play on the last episode you were watching on Netflix. All of a sudden it's nine at night, and you've missed your reservation, you're elbow deep in a bag of chips, your significant other is passed out next to you, and there's no way you're peeling yourself away from this episode of "Bob's Burgers" you've seen approximately 78,342,873 times. There's nothing getting you off that couch, no matter how hard you try, it's all over. It's even a challenge to go to the fridge to grab a water or another bag of chips that you just finished.
4. You can wait until the movie comes on Netflix.
Sometimes, one might go on a date to the movies. You and your significant other have probably learned at this point that all movies eventually come to Netflix, RedBox or Charter. So, you sit and you wait because going to the movies risks seeing people and conversation, and that's just not something either of you are that interested in.
5. If you do go to a real life party, you're there for like 10 minutes, then someone fakes an illness.
If you've never sat in the corner of a party, planning your escape route, bless your soul. Once, we planned how we were leaving the party when we were in the car on the way to the party. "Do we have to go?" "Why are we going?" "Who made the plans?" Going to a party you and your significant other do not want to go to has probably been the start of multiple fights. When you finally do get there, someone probably fakes the stomach flu, or you just leave discretely without saying good bye.
