I recently stumbled upon some words of wisdom I would like to share: “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle” (Gloria Steinem). The moral of the quote is that a woman does not need a man to live a happy and complete life, which I think can sometimes be forgotten. At the age of 20, I have experienced three “major” (or what felt major at the time) breakups. Since my freshman year of high school, I have spent much of my time with a boyfriend or “talking” to a boy. In fact, many of my memories from the last 6 years involve the men referenced above. Basically, I’ve always been the fish with a bicycle.

Don’t get me wrong; boyfriends are great. I’ve even written articles declaring so, but recently I have decided that maybe it is time to focus all the attention and love I have been giving to these men into other things, myself included. I want to love myself, respect myself, admire myself, and empower myself—I want to be a fish without a bicycle.

As someone who has spent so much of her time in relationships, this is definitely a hard realization to make, but I believe it is an important one. For me, I see this as knowing my worth and knowing that I am truly a strong, independent woman. I also see this as having the courage to do what I want with my life and not letting anything, or anyone, hold me back. I see now more than ever the importance of loving yourself and the life you live. I am mine before I am anyone else’s.

I believe accepting this idea will help me grow both personally and in my relationships with those around me. Knowing that it’s OK to think about my own identity and what I want allows me to find happiness and success around every corner. It also allows me to feel proud of the woman I am becoming every day and gives me confidence to genuinely be myself. Accepting all of this brings a sense of relief over me. I know that I am not only capable of being independent, but also ready to do self-exploration to find the woman I am capable of being in this world.

Therefore, I want to carry this message with me for the rest of my life, whether in a relationship or single. I will always remember to love myself even when I decide it’s time to love someone else again. I will always stay true to myself and do all the things I loved to do before that person came into my life. I will always treat myself the way I expect others to treat me. And I hope every female out there will always do the same.