My summer before college:

People are always telling me from left and right that college is the best time of your life! So much better than high school! (Wow, I hope so.) That I will make long lasting friendships & might even find the love of my life. I should look forward to the freedom I'll have and the constant fun it'll be. Even more so, they say my faith in Christ will also transform incredibly.

It's fun to imagine all of these things and dream of it coming true... But that doesn't stop the fact that I am scared out of my mind. In the beginning, I was outgoing, making so many friends easily. As the years progressed, and as being a coach's kid, I had to move a few times causing me to be a little bit more shy. These last two years in high school have been quite difficult for me. I was ready to move on to new things and walk through other doors. I got to the point where I would just keep to myself all the time, never having a single friend to talk to or hang out with. Oh, and let's not forget the fact that I've never dated. (A personal decision that I've prayed about many times, so trust me, I don't regret it.) I've become stand off-ish. Also, I've experienced things that many can't relate to and have had to grow and mature more so than others (which isn't their fault at all, just God's plan for my family and I). This summer has been strictly just family and myself because we've had to move again. Therefore, I have not been exposed to any other human beings who will be going to college soon as well. Let's just say, I'm nervous for this next year. I'm not ready in my mind to move BY MYSELF. I'm not ready to walk through this next door after all. I'm very afraid that my life will become worse than it is. I'm scared that I will not meet these new friends, gain astounding memories, or even fall in love. Everywhere I look on social media, I see "SO READY TO MOVE IN TO MY DORM" or "CANT WAIT FOR COLLEGE"... But I can. I've been waiting my whole life and I think I can still?.... Or not? I don't know. That's the problem. I don't know what lies ahead. What if it is the worst years of my life? What if I don't become the person I want to be? But then again, what if I do? What if I have the time of my life? Am I ready, Lord? Oh, help me to be ready. I hope and pray that this next chapter in my life will be the best yet. God, give me the strength and courage to be who I truly am and follow You each and everyday. I pray that college will be full of joy. And I pray this for all incoming freshmen // fishies as well. Anybody else out there who is as nervous as I am? I hope so. And to those who have had THE worst time in high school? Pray. Seek God & trust that He has a plan for us. It's time to take a leap of faith into this next adventure!!!

...to be continued. (After 1st semester of freshmen year)