To The First Year Nursing Student-
I remember you.
You're the one who was ecstatic to start nursing school. You bought your scrubs and laid them out so they wouldn't wrinkle. You picked out your favorite color stethoscope and gently laid it on your desk. You bought a pair of those horrendous white shoes, yet still made an effort not to scuff them up. You labeled cute binders and organized notebooks. When people asked how you were you said, "Great!"
Now you are throwing on wrinkled scrubs and you can't remember if you wore them last week or not but it's 5am and you'll be late to clinical if you don't get dressed. Your can't remember where you threw your stethoscope after an 8 hour lab day you had today, but you know you'll need it for the 8 hour clinical you have tomorrow. Your shoes have black marks from running through the hospital parking lot because you're just not used to waking up at 5 a.m. and you overslept on clinical day. Papers and notes are tossed in your binders and you just don't care anymore. The only response you give to a "How are you?" is "Tired." because you don't have the energy to say more.
Maybe it was the first day of class. Or your first test. Or your first care plan. It was the first moment you seriously questioned if you were in the right major. The first moment where you felt so defeated that you were ready to quit. I have felt the pain of going from a 4.0 student to barely making C's. It doesn't seem fair. You spent hours of your time relentlessly studying. Highlighting the pages until they started to become more yellow than white. Going over every single word you wrote down in that two hour lecture. Taking a break only to calculate what you have to make on your tests to pass the class, and then walking out of an exam where every single thing you didn't study was on it. I have been so tired that I was worried about falling asleep on the way home from clinical. Your body was not prepared to write a care plan until 1 a.m. and then be at clinical at 6 a.m. You weren't prepared for the old grouchy patient who abused you both verbally and physically.
But sweet student this is for you. You are smart enough. You are strong enough. You will get through this. You might be tired and have to say no for the tenth time to friends. You might be so overwhelmed that you sit down and ugly cry until you just can't anymore. And that's ok. Because when you walk across that stage in two years, when you sign your name and put "RN" at the end of it for the first time, and when you are the one yelling "all clear" in a code, it means that you finished. It means that the test you failed, did not define you. It means that the late hours you spent working on care plans, were not worthless. It means, that it was worth it.
So first year student, do not lose heart. The road is seemingly never-ending. But it will end.
Love,
A Senior Nursing Student
