Over the past three years, I have had so very extreme highs, and some severe lows. One thing that I've learned is everything that happens is conditional based on the way you react to it. i.e. the half full half empty theory.
My first semester at University was by far the hardest five months of my life. I went away to a school that was two hours away and left behind a girl that I had been seeing for a few months and things were going well. {side bar} {When I get into a relationship I go all in, so i was love drunk at this point.} Needless to say I went to campus with the mindset that I would transfer after my first semester to be closer to my then-girlfriend. I saw the campus not how it was, but how I wanted it to be. I wanted to hate the campus, the people, and the food as much as humanly possible so that I had viable reasons to transfer. I trudged along to class day by day and hated everything about where I was. I started hating myself and shutting myself in my dorm room just to play video games and be anti-social.
Every night I'd FaceTime my girlfriend and talk about how I'd be at a different campus soon. A few months in, I met a young man by the name of Jacob. Jacob was in most of the same classes as myself and he introduced himself to me. After a few study sessions with my other friend, Chris, we clicked as friends. I started coming out of the unhealthy, anti social shell I had built up around myself. We had become best friends and I was over his dorm so often that I actually had a toothbrush there. After about a month, he and his roommates pretty much asked me to move in. I stayed on their couch which was way better than staying in my lonely, empty, dorm.
Somewhere between the time Jacob and I became friends, and me moving into the dorm, my girlfriend and I broke up. I rushed home on a Monday in a panic thinking that my sunshine had gone away. I had been coming home every weekend to hang out with this girl, and out of the blue she leaves me... not on my watch. I pretty much begged her to get back with me, which wasn't fair to either of us. On my way back to school, I got in a huge car accident. I totaled my car and almost died doing so. For a week, I was stuck at my house, away from my studies and the friends I had grown to love. I fell severely behind in most of my classes, which I hadn't ben trying in to begin with, and I was on the brink of failure in all classes. I cried that entire week. "Why me?" Id ask. I thought God had a personal vendetta out on me to punish me somehow.
I got back up to school and tried to get my act together. I finally realized that the young lady that had gotten back with me was not the girl I fell for. We were two different people and she had not changed for the better. We agreed to stay friends and neither of us us were too bitter about it. It was the cleanest breakup I'd ever experienced. I think i was more upset that I wasted so much time being so dismal about everything except for her. That's how I get when I'm in a relationship and it is anything but healthy. The next few weeks actually went by pretty smoothly. I was more outgoing, I was doing things for me, i was spending money on myself, and I was doing things with my new friends.
I was actually the happiest I'd ever been before. I found a group of people who understood me, and liked me for the goof that I am. But alas, I had already put in my transfer papers to another school and my financial ai had defaulted at the current school. There was nothing I could do but transfer. Looking back on that time in my life, I did't appreciate it then nearly as much as I do now. I knew I loved my friends but going through the last few years without people like them at campus, sucks.
The moral of the story is, don't be like me. I'm an idiot with a one track mind. Be open minded and see things for how they are. Be free and love life without reservation. Find a happy medium between making yourself happy and making someone else happy. Life is beautiful and I hope you all see it that way one day. Be you, and be true.
