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The First Month Of My Third Decade

I'm 20, and I'm scared.

Sep 02, 2016

I have been twenty-years-old for one month now, and I don't like it that much. Being 20 is like the sophomore year of ages: you're not old enough to coolly and legally drink your sorrows away and not young enough to blame your mistakes on your lack of years. Here's to my first year of being a true adult!

I am now longer a teenager - riddled by crippling self-esteem issues and obsessed with boys and their cooties. I am supposed to be leading a life as an adult. I have been forced into this. Without my consent and with a few anti-climatic birthday cards, I was initiated into the shitty world that is adulthood. I didn't ask for this! No one asks for this!

Over the past month, I have been wracking my brain for some almighty answer, for some sign that I'll thrive as an adult. However, the best thing I've seen over the past thirty days is a man dressed as a banana and a few cute dogs. Adulthood is not cracking up to be like the spectacular life that my high school career fair assured me it would be.

Being an adult sucks, and I'm afraid it's never going to get any easier. Over the years, I'll start to lose my faith in humanity as my strength starts to dwindle and as my taste buds devolve and only allow me to enjoy pea soup and bread.

Turning twenty - starting my third humble decade - has made me realize how important retaining my hope and childlike passion is. Without that, the life I lead will be led by a walker decorated with ratty tennis balls or rolled along on a wheelchair instead of playing shuffleboard like a champ or showing the young whippersnappers how to really dance.

I plan on living for awhile, but I need to remind myself that with every decade I will lose a bit more of my faith and my tenacity. It's inevitable when you're not entirely and dangerously optimistic.

With every day, month, and year that passes, I will become more and more disgruntled. However, I will grow to be wise (knock on wood). I will grow to learn more about the world and its people. I will become a goddess of age, wisdom, and everything else that I can be a goddess of. I will be magnificent...hopefully.

However, now is not my time to be that mesmerizing. I'm still struggling to tackle the most basic things of life like paying taxes, filing bills, getting mail daily, making good decisions, etc.

I am not particularly thriving, but I'm not failing either.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The First Month Of My Third Decade

I'm 20, and I'm scared.

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No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

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