I'm guessing you're looking for a sign, much like me, to help your heart heal right now. I am guessing you want me to say something like "they'll come crawling back," or "wait for them because they will regret leaving you."
Wrong.
Nope.
N.O.
You need to get it through your head they are not coming back. They couldn't care less that you're posting about how "happy" you are or all you have accomplished without them.
They have no intention of reaching out again, leave them behind, honey.
I know what you're thinking: love doesn't exist, it's all a hoax. If this person didn't love me, then no one else can. Yadda, yadda, yadda… I've caught myself saying this many times in my life. What if that was my person? What if NO ONE can cope with how hyper and excited I get after listening to Ed Sheeran or how I could eat pizza every date night for the rest of our lives?
Your first love (if it even was love) will always be there. They will always hold a place in your heart, whether you like it or not, honey. All of your "firsts" will fall back to them.
The first time you felt as though your butterflies were safe in someone else's care. The first time someone properly (or not) stole and took care of your heart like it was their own. The first time you realized you are capable of falling in love with every aspect of another human being (like I said before if it even was love).
And the first time your heart shattered, they will always have these.
But, if it makes you any better (and I know not much will right now), they will never have your "lasts."
They will never live up to who your last dance partner will be, your last whole bottle of wine sharer will look like, or the last person who will protect your heart as if it is their own.
You will love again. Your heart will heal. And your next actual date will be because you finally moved on from where your heart wasn't meant to stay. These memories and feelings will heal and drift away, along with the person who holds your "firsts."
Healing will take time, but I hope you look back in a couple of months with a healed heart and discover what you actually want in a partner. And that bottle of sangria will be shared with someone who actually cares about you and doesn't give you fake love.
But for now, here's to listening to sad country love songs and drinking that bottle with friends!
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