Advice For Your Partner's First Deployment | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
relationships

To The Military Girlfriend Going Through Her First Deployment

You can do it.

858
To The Military Girlfriend Going Through Her First Deployment
Christi Ballard

Seven months ago, I had one of the hardest goodbyes in my life. I said goodbye to the person I love the most in this world. I had to wait patiently for the next year to go by before I could hug my best friend again. And it is hard.

But it is worth it. I'll take every second of it if it means that my best friend comes home safe. I'll relive all the lonely moments if it means we no longer have to be at a distance. I would do it all over again just for him.

I never imagined that I would be a military girlfriend, but I'm so glad that I am. I have learned so much about myself through this journey, and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

At the start of this journey, we knew that this would go one of two ways: we would either grow stronger or this would be the end. We weren't planning on making this the end, but we knew that a deployment can push a couple to their limit.

And it has been rough. It's tough continuing your life without your best friend physically by your side. It's hard coordinating busy schedules from opposite ends of the world, just to have time to Skype for a few minutes. It's scary not being able to talk to them at all times and fearing what might happen. And it's even harder when you aren't a point of contact.

But through it all, we've both learned a lot, not just about each other but about ourselves. Spending so much time apart helped us realize our goals in life and how much we are willing to compromise in order to make our relationship work.

I'm not going to lie, it is very hard. It is emotionally and mentally heavy. Even with a community, it is hard, but without one, as I have had, it feels almost impossible. Deployment loneliness is such an extreme.

But it is through that difficult time that you learn some of the best lessons. You learn who your friends are. You learn how much your families support you and your partner. You learn about who you really are. And those lessons are some that I wouldn't trade for the world.

I've watched myself grow into a different person because of this, and it has made me so much better. While I always was alone, I learned how to enjoy my company more. I discovered some new interests that I never realized I had. I worked and studied harder to get my mind off of the loneliness. I have bettered myself because of this.

Not only have I grown as a person, but my relationship has also grown as well. We've stuck it out through the hard times because we know how much we love each other. When one of us falls short, the other will easily forgive because we know how small those mistakes are. Our trust has grown because we've had no other choice. We've started making plans for our future because we know we want one together. We've simultaneously grown individually and as a couple, realizing our strengths and weaknesses, our goals for ourselves and each other, and we've allowed a tough situation to better us.

When I looked online for some advice on how to endure such a difficult, exhausting life experience, I found very little help. So I'm writing this article for all the girls like me out there. All the ones who are saying goodbye to their whole world for a while. The girls who might not have a community like most military wives do. The girls who are too old, yet too young for their circumstance. The girls who are surrounded with love, but still feel alone without their partner. The girls just like me.

Take this time to figure out who you are. Life is constantly changing, and so are you, my dear. It can be a hard journey, but it is so rewarding. Take this time alone to dive deep and really uncover who you are, what you want and everything else about yourself. It is not selfish to put yourself first, especially in tough, stressful situations.

If you don't have a community, build one yourself. I've made some of my closest friends during this time, and I've grown closer to others that I never imagined.

Discover. Travel, take up a new hobby, take a few different classes. Really put yourself out there and try something new. Really spend this time on yourself.

But lastly, be supportive and loving. Just as this is a very hard situation for you, it's even worse for them. Always be there to support your partner, no matter how hard the times get. You'll never get back this time, use it to your advantage. Just because they aren't physically present, that doesn't mean that they are absent. Grow closer with them, tell them everything, good and bad, and always, always, remind them how much you love them.

It's defining moments like these that lead up to the best stages of your life.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
an image of taylor swift standing center stage surrounded by her backup dancers in elegant peacock esque outfits with a backdrop of clouds and a box rising above the stage the image captures the vibrant aesthetics and energy of her performance during the lover era of her eras tour
StableDiffusion

A three-and-a-half-hour runtime. Nine Eras. Eleven outfit changes. Three surprise songs. Zero breaks. One unforgettable evening. In the past century, no other performer has put on an electric performance quite like Taylor Swift, surpassing her fans ‘wildest dreams’. It is the reason supporters keep coming back to her shows each year. Days later, I’m still in awe of the spectacle ‘Miss Americana’ puts on every few days in a new city. And, like one of Taylor’s exes, has me smiling as I reminisce about the memories of the night we spent together.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

82844
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

9827
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments