Up until this point in my life, I have not had to deal with the level of adulting that life is requiring of me now. I have never had to pay bills, and only ever needed a part-time job; I am good at having a part-time job. I plan my time accordingly and am very used to not being at work all the time. That nine to five office job has never looked appealing to me, so I have tried to stay away from it for as long as I can. Up until now, I have worked at Chick-Fil-A (great first job by the way) an awesome coffee shop called Dutch Bros, and, I worked with a world champion horse in an equestrian competition called Dressage. I recently, however, picked up a full-time job as a helper at a summer camp/day care of a local school.
I had some serious doubts about this job because I am really committed to finding ways that I can make money more enjoyably. Since I still have minimal bills to pay, I don't want to waste my time and my summer on a job that I hate just because I need money. Honestly, I would rather have no job and no money, and figure other ways to have a great summer. I am getting older, though, and I need to start being serious about saving up for my future.
I am also really introverted and didn't think I could handle being around so many people for this long. I have worked summer camps with hundreds of children at a time before and didn't want this to be as draining as those were. I love working with children, but anytime I am with anyone for an extended period of time I begin thinking about the next time I can be alone. Though this summer camp has a total of maybe around 100 people, including staff, my nerves were still on edge.
My greatest fear was that I would be extremely uncomfortable in this world place. The parents and staff at this school, and really in this town, have very little moral similarities to mine. The upbringing of children is extremely different from how I believe children should be raised, and even their spiritual beliefs seem a little sideways. On top of that, many people in this town are extremely conservative, and my progressive views always clash with theirs. I was worried that I would never feel settled in. I was also worried that I would not get to enjoy casual relationships with some of my coworkers because of our differing beliefs.
I was pleasantly surprised that I was wrong about pretty much all of it. Not only do I feel welcomed to settle into my position and create some good friendships, but I feel wanted and needed, which is a feeling I love. I struggle with a deep feeling of disappointment to the point where I question depression (might talk about that later), and I noticed that I really tried to push that feeling down today. Showing self-control and restraint aren't my strong suites. I am really into just going where my feelings lead. Today I showed a lot of patience, for children and other staff members, and I am proud of myself for that.
It was not a perfect day, but it was surprisingly pleasant, and I learned a lot about myself. I survived day one of my first full-time job. Let's see how I do for the rest of the summer.
