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28 Hilariously Candid Thoughts You Have When Applying For Your First Big Kid Job

Excuse me...is there a manual for this thing called adulting?

Shelby Gerweck

Sep 11, 2018

Eastern Michigan University

Unsplash

I've recently started looking for jobs to actually apply for, and finally finalized a resume that I feel is worthy enough for potential employers...maybe. This whole experience has been crazy stressful, and I feel like I am not the only one who has been through all the thoughts that come with trying to adult. It's a crazy ride, and unfortunately, there are some schools and programs that really don't prepare you for trying to start your career.

So, kids, this is what you have to look forward to when you're a jobless college graduate.

1. How on earth do you write a resume?

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2. What is a cover letter?

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3. Oh...this looks like an interesting position....

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4. What salary am I qualified to ask for?

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5. Okay...I am soooo NOT qualified for that!

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6. YOU WANT 5 YEARS EXPERIENCE FOR AN ENTRY-LEVEL JOB?!?!

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7. I am never going to get a job....

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8. Can I go back to elementary school?

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9. Am I allowed to pay someone to write my resume?

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10. You mean I have to rewrite my cover letter?

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11. This resume looks like a preschooler wrote it.

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12. Why did no one teach me how to do this??

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13. Is there a manual for how to apply for jobs?

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14. Calls Mom So, everything you've ever taught me has been to prepare me for life...so why do I feel so unprepared??

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15. Please let there be one employer who finds me interesting!

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16. LinkedIn? I thought that was just a spam email!

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17. Oh. My. Gosh. The salary is $45,000?!?!

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18. How do people get multiple offers? I can't even get ONE!

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19. Email notification MAYBE IT'S FINALLY A JOB OFFER!

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20. THEY WANT TO INTERVIEW ME?!

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21. Maybe this whole getting a job thing isn't so hard after all...

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22. Clicks "Submit Application" button NO! Wait! I wasn't ready!

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23. Wait...how does one look for jobs?

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24. What do you mean by 2-3 years of experience? Does McDonald's count?

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25. Reads job description What do these words even mean?!

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26. Guess I just have to expect that I'm going to be living in my mom's basement for the rest of my life...

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27. I have NOTHING to wear to my interview!!!

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28. This isn't so hard...I got this!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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28 Hilariously Candid Thoughts You Have When Applying For Your First Big Kid Job

Excuse me...is there a manual for this thing called adulting?

1. How on earth do you write a resume?

2. What is a cover letter?

3. Oh...this looks like an interesting position....

4. What salary am I qualified to ask for?

5. Okay...I am soooo NOT qualified for that!

6. YOU WANT 5 YEARS EXPERIENCE FOR AN ENTRY-LEVEL JOB?!?!

7. I am never going to get a job....

8. Can I go back to elementary school?

9. Am I allowed to pay someone to write my resume?

10. You mean I have to rewrite my cover letter?

11. This resume looks like a preschooler wrote it.

12. Why did no one teach me how to do this??

13. Is there a manual for how to apply for jobs?

14. *Calls Mom* So, everything you've ever taught me has been to prepare me for life...so why do I feel so unprepared??

15. Please let there be one employer who finds me interesting!

16. LinkedIn? I thought that was just a spam email!

17. Oh. My. Gosh. The salary is $45,000?!?!

18. How do people get multiple offers? I can't even get ONE!

19. *Email notification* MAYBE IT'S FINALLY A JOB OFFER!

20. THEY WANT TO INTERVIEW ME?!

21. Maybe this whole getting a job thing isn't so hard after all...

22. *Clicks "Submit Application" button* NO! Wait! I wasn't ready!

23. Wait...how does one look for jobs?

24. What do you mean by 2-3 years of experience? Does McDonald's count?

25. *Reads job description* What do these words even mean?!

26. Guess I just have to expect that I'm going to be living in my mom's basement for the rest of my life...

27. I have NOTHING to wear to my interview!!!

28. This isn't so hard...I got this!

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10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

14. Calls Mom So, everything you've ever taught me has been to prepare me for life...so why do I feel so unprepared??

19. Email notification MAYBE IT'S FINALLY A JOB OFFER!

22. Clicks "Submit Application" button NO! Wait! I wasn't ready!

25. Reads job description What do these words even mean?!

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