"All guys are the same," is a common phrase that comes out of women and girls' mouths across the board. It's false. Not all men will be such heartless cowards who have yet to grow up. Some are complete gentlemen, willing to swoon you. This unfortunately is about the heartless cowards that my friends and I have encountered throughout the years.
To the man who said all I'm good for is sex.
You lied. I'm good at making people happy. I'm good at my job. I'm good at writing and reading. I'm good at falling too hard for a guy who will eventually turn out to be someone I didn't think they were. It's fine though because I don't need a man.
To the man who said he'd change.
You lied. I didn't necessarily even want you to change. You should be free to do as you wish and be who you are. You shouldn't change for anyone, especially not a strong-minded woman. That applies to me too though. You wanted me to do everything you said. You wanted me to be to be there on your terms. Before I realized I wasn't this strong woman, I was fragile. It's fine though because I don't need a man.
To the man who said he was the only one who would love me.
You lied. I have an amazing family. I have friends who treat me as family. I have guys tell me I'm beautiful and "out of this world" daily. You aren't the only one who will love me because you don't love me. This isn't love. It's fine though because I don't need a man.
To the man who put his hands on me, then apologized.
You lied. You're not sorry. You wrapped your hands around my neck and choked me. You made me think that life was over. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. All I could think about was telling my mom that I love her one last time. All I could do the next day was cover the hand prints with make up. It's fine though because I don't need a man.
To the man who said he'd be there, and was nowhere to be found.
You lied. You don't care about me. You don't care that I'm hurting. You don't care if I dropped plans with my family, my friends or anyone. You found something better to do. It's OK. It's OK to have priorities that take precedence over me. It's fine though because I don't need a man.
To the man who had a video of us being sexual, and leaked it when I moved on.
You lied. You lied when you said you'd never hurt me. I was wrong to trust you, that's my fault. You took a stab at my reputation. You put me through hell. You've tried to make up for it though; you've tried to apologize. It's fine though because I don't need a man.
To the men who make women feel worthless, useless and unimportant.
You lied. I'm everything. I mean something to my parents, to the rest of my family, my friends, my campus. I have an impact on this world, far greater than you realize. You almost had me though; you almost made me believe that you were right. You're not a man, you're a boy. You have the mindset of a child and the immaturity to match. Someday you'll realize that you once had it all. By that time, I'll be long gone. It's fine though because I don't need a man.
From a young woman, to other young women.
Be strong. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Don't allow yourself to stay in situations that don't benefit you or your future. Don't tell yourself that things will get better, they won't; eventually, things will worsen. Women who have been through abuse, whether physical or emotional, will tell you the same thing.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Take a breath. Tell yourself you're beautiful. You will live and you will learn. You will conquer everything you want to, with or without a man.
