As we grow older, we begin to change into who we are meant to be. Some people know right away who they are, and finding themselves and where they belong isn't an issue. For others, like myself, life throws an insane amount of bumps in the road of finding out who we truly are.
I for one have struggled throughout my life with trying to love myself and find my place in this world. When I was younger, I would do and say anything anyone wanted me to simply because I thought that the main goal in life was to be the most liked person. I never realized until later on in life that I was only losing myself as I pretended to be someone who I was not.
When I entered high school, I began to truly realize that I no longer wanted to put on a show for everyone. Unfortunately, I was far too concerned with worrying about keeping friendships and relationships, that I couldn't even see what I was doing to myself. Instead of finding myself, I was totally losing myself... I just continued to play as someone totally different in relationships with friends, family, boyfriends, whoever. I was changing who I truly was for other people so much that I began to forget who I even was, without even knowing it.
It took heartbreak and sadness and what felt like a total mental defeat to realize that I had completely lost myself. I realized that I no longer had a clue who I was, and I knew then and there that I had to make a change.
Now, nearing my high school graduation, I am a whole new "me". I'm no where near the kind of person who I want to be, but I'm so much better than who I was. I know I've got so much more finding myself to do, but I can finally say that I will be totally in control of who I turn out to be, and I will never again allow ANYONE to make me feel as though I have to alter who I am to be loved.
