How many times have you heard that college is the time to find yourself? At least 100 times to be exact. Now, how many times have you heard that college is the time to be independent, in order to find yourself? About 100 more times to be exact. Is this really the case though? Do we have to be alone in order to figure out the ingredients that go into our personal recipes?
In my case, I would say no. Though I have not been single in college, this is my take on this particular side of the argument.
Being in a relationship in college and even high school for that matter, I have learned so much about myself. I have learned what I look like to myself, and what I look like through someone else's eyes. When I am wrong, it is pointed out to me so I know when there is something I need to work on to better myself, even if I wasn't able to notice it before.
I look back at myself and notice the abundance of skills and values I have acquired from this and the amount of patience I have now. Relationships are by no means easy, and they require a lot of time, effort, and patience. The reason behind this is because it isn't always just about "I". Some days, it's about "I", some days it's about "you", and some days it's about "we", and that can take a lot of patience depending on the context and the situation.
Through this, I've learned selflessness. Love sometimes means putting the other person's needs and wants above your own, and this can be a tricky thing to do. The value of this skill can be mirrored through so many experiences in life, and I'm grateful for this understanding and practice I've had so far.
Through this, I've learned understanding and compassion. Every individual comes with their own past that can not be rewritten. There are so many beautiful and wonderful things that come along with understanding the way a person works and thinks, and molding your personality to have understanding and compassion for another human being. I am so incredibly grateful for the person I have become by being exposed to another person's life experiences and gaining knowledge through this in more ways than one.
As I have said before, I have learned so much about myself by being with another person. I have learned the things that I like, and the things that I dislike, and how to voice when my needs aren't being met. I have become independent by not becoming dependent, but still putting forth everything I have into the relationship. I believe there are so many benefits to finding who you are and who you become with another person, just as important as it is to find who you are and who you become when you are by yourself.
Regardless of whether high school or college relationships will last, the positive things you can learn about yourself along the way make the experience all the more worth it.
