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Finding your Seat at the Table

For all the misfits during the holiday season

Nov 21, 2016

It's the holiday season, and with that comes family gatherings and celebrations. The problem with this, for me at least, is that there is always going to be someone missing from my family's table. My father passed away right before the holidays four years ago. Before that, I never imagined a holiday without him, and now it's normal that he isn't around.

It wasn't easy at first, and it still isn't. The holiday season brings back memories of the good times we shared together as a family. It's nice to be able to look back and remember those good memories, but it is painful knowing that that's all I have now; memories of what used to be an amazing family. Now when the holidays come around, I am not sitting at a table with my blood relatives. I'm with people that I'm not related to at all. Yes, they have become my family, but I get this overwhelming feeling that I am a burden. I always say that I wish I belonged somewhere because I feel like I do not. I have found myself struggling to enjoy the holidays with a broken family. I'm always reassured that I'm loved, welcomed, and wanted at their table, but it makes me miss my own family.

I miss my dad carving the turkey while the rest of us stood there with our mouths watering ready to dig in. I miss being excited when I woke up on Christmas morning. I miss seeing all the people that I love in the same room, at the same table, catching up and reflecting on the year, and looking forward to the year ahead.

So how do I deal with being a "misfit" during the holiday season?

I have found somewhere I belong. Family isn't always blood related and that's OK, that doesn't change anything. I love my family, my blood relatives and the family that I've gained over the past several years. I have found a way to create more amazing memories with different people and that is what I look forward to now instead of dreading these next couple of months. May all my fellow misfits find their seats at the table, and have a happy holiday season.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Finding your Seat at the Table

For all the misfits during the holiday season

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

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2. You may feel lonely.

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4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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