It's not necessarily true that everyone loses their faith their first semester in college, but for most of us, it is true that your relationship with God drastically changes, similar to your relationships with your parents, siblings, friends from home, etc.

When you leave for college, your whole life changes. Your friend groups change, your exposure to freedom and "adulting" seriously change, and YOU change. You become an entirely new and different person because with everything around you changing, you either have the choice to change with it and adapt to this new world you've been thrown into, or fade away and not thrive. Inevitably, with your life changing the way it does, your relationship with God will change, too.

When I got to college in Fall 2015, I did not lose my faith. I didn't pull away from God and I didn't deny Him. As much as I hate to say it, you could say I put Him in my pocket instead of wearing Him proudly on my sleeve. I believed in God and I still prayed every night before I went to sleep, but we didn't have a strong relationship. But luckily for me, I am in love with a God that is merciful and forgiving and gracious and kind and loving and true.

When I found my faith, I thought that there was no way God would ever want me back. There were Christians who were better than me, more faithful, more unwavering, more deserving. When I brought my sins, my lies, my wrongdoings to God, I was embarrassed to face Him. I'd known all my life that He is forgiving and constant, but I didn't want to be reason for His suffering. And the more I dwelled on it, I realized that asking for forgiveness would be the only way to end His suffering. Reaching for Him, after all this time of Him reaching for me with no response was the answer He'd been looking for that I held in my heart.

"The Lord your God is with you and He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with his love and rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

When I found my faith again in college, it was because I read Ephesians 1. It talks about how God chose me before He even created the world. He wanted me, and He wants you, too. God reaches for the reaching, and if you turn your eyes upon Jesus, the things of this Earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

This is what I have chosen to live by. I know that as long as I spend the rest of my life seeking God, He will always be there to answer my call.

By finding God and my faith again, I've found that there is no longer a need to have this overwhelming sense of control that I'd let get the better of me time and time again. Things will flow as they will, and I will flow with them to my great delight and benefit. A God so loving, so personal, so equipped on my behalf ought to be involved in the decisions of my life.

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Pslam 37:23-24

I don't write this to be preachy and my intention is not to appear hypocritical at all, but rather I'm writing this to simply share my heart and the overwhelming love that I get to experience from a God that is greater than my biggest fears and my worst nightmares, strong enough to not only help me accomplish my dreams, but push me to be even better than I imagine I can be.

My prayer is that, "the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people,and His incomparably great power for us who believe." Ephesians 1:18-19