Days have gone by since seeing you, and there hasn't been a moment where you haven't crossed my mind. It's that moment where I want to reach out and scream my feelings, but those feelings could still push you away. It's not a nice way to feel, wondering what you're doing if you're thinking about me. I've been trying to cope with the possibility of losing you, but I can't bear the thought of losing you. Sure, we've had problems in the past. But that was then and this is now, I have never thought I would dwell on this so much, on one person. Anyone else, I would toss aside. But for you, I'm just waiting every waking moment for an answer. I hate conflict, I hate fighting with people I care about and beating the trust we built around the edges. I now know that I hate fighting with you. I saw the hurt in your eyes, the sadness, the concern. I never wanted to upset you or lose your trust. I've never wanted to make you feel like you can't rely on me, I want to be your outlet, not your burden. I want to be your cheerleader, I don't want to bring you down. If it's not too much to ask, I want to talk to you, and I want you to please consider forgiving my apology. Up until then, the thoughts of you will be running in circles around my head.

Who knows what will come of this, what you and I will turn out to be. We can patch it up and take the world by storm, or the foundation of the relationship between us will start to crumble and fall. Losing you would be like giving up, giving up on someone who has made me feel like I have a sense or purpose, and a duty to motivate and inspire you. We were born in a generation who enjoys giving up, But I am not okay with that. I want to fix things, make things better, make you a better person like you can make me one. I laugh more when I'm with you, I smile more when I'm listening to you. But most of all, I feel like everything is right when I'm with you. I try my hardest to reach out to you, and I get nothing in return. I care for people who don't care about me, but I know from what I saw in your eyes that you'll never not care. If this never get's resolved, I don't know what I'll do. In the stages of grief, I am at denial. I am denying that I'll lose you and that you don't care what happens because I want you to more than ever. Seeing you happy makes me happy, and you have no idea how bad I want to be the root of that happiness. You inspire me to fight for what I want, I've seen you do it. I want to prove myself worthy. This time, what I am fighting for is you.

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