In every moment I can feel the patching up of a heart that thought it would never be whole. I am seeing just what letting Jesus in to the most painful parts of me does for a broken soul.
I feel like, we as humans, whenever pain, the unexpected, or the unplanned comes into our life, we run. We try as hard as we can to get as far away from anything that could cause us pain. We avoid it, we shut down, we become silent disassociating ourselves from the very thing that is in front of us. Yet, if we actually knew the truth would we still run? The truth is that running from the pain is also running from the healing...
I have certainly done my fair share of running, as I think most of us have. I get it, though, we're all scared. I, I am defiantly scared. Heck sometimes I'm scared of my own shadow. I know we all have fears, fears of the unknown, of being inadequate, of doing what makes us alive, of being let down by God, or of letting God down by what we do in our lives.
But He is not whoever let you down.
Not your ex best friend, a parent, an ex boyfriend/girlfriend, a teacher, or other.
He doesn't disappoint. He always, always comes through for us, sometimes in ways we would never expect.So the running has to stop because healing can't start until you decide to come home.
I'm going to strip myself down here and be honest with all of you, which isn't always the easiest thing for me to do. I have let my running keep me from some healing, and the scars of non healed moments are not worth it. I know fear can keep us from facing the very thing that we need to face. Sometimes the hardest thing we do, is admitting to ourselves that we are fearful. Being broken is scary, as sometimes broken things are seen as worthless. But, dear friend, do not fear the brokenness of yourself. Being broken does not make you any less, as we all have a little bit of "broken" within us. God uses what we see as broken parts of who we are to love us, and use us to spread His love to those around us.
I have learned to take myself home, and when I got there, I found Jesus waiting. He wasn't angry, sleeping, or tired. He was waiting for me. He was ready, with open arms to embrace me as I wept. He was ready to catch me as I fell into his arms, realizing that he was the safest place to have taken my broken, and get it healed.
May you take yourself home, the broken you, ready to be healed, for the arms of Jesus are ready and waiting patiently for you.