FMYC 2017

Relentless: oppressively constant, persistent, endless.

Every three years or so, the Free Methodist Church denomination holds a conference in Fort Collins, Colorado, called FMYC for teens grades 9-12. In 2014, I attended as an participant. This year, I had the opportunity to attend as a chaperone. Here is my experience.

Day 1:

Despite my exhaustion from the travel to Fort Collins, when the opening session began, I knew I was meant to be there. For whatever reason, I was meant to be there again. Tonight, the speaker talked about moments and how certain moments, especially spiritual ones, change our lives. He emphasized that God planned for these moments and allowed them into our lives for a reason, whether they be good or bad. For a lot of people, moments often turn them away from Him. We fear that the bad things we’ve done are too much for God and are afraid he won’t want us anymore. What it really comes down to is, any past moments/experiences don’t matter as long as your heart is with Jesus. And He is relentlessly chasing you, choosing you. You cannot push Jesus away because he will still search and chase you. He created you to be the change in the world, to be the heart to carry his message. He created you to be yourself, and along with that comes change in behaviors and actions. Because God’s people cannot change the world if they are ordinary, they have to be extraordinary. Nothing you do is too much for Him to undo. He created you and me, and He created us to do wrong and to make changes, because there is nothing he cannot undo for you. There is nothing so horrible that He will turn away from you. No pain, no sorrow, no sin, no disappointment will keep Him from pursuing you. Jesus is not afraid of who you really are. Only you are afraid of that.

In 2014, I had a moment after a session that really changed me spiritually. I shared this special moment with three other people. I think all four of us had a special night that night. What happened that night is not really something I think needs to be shared publicly. The four of us know what happened, and we know what impact it had on our life. As I walked into the session tonight, I was reminded of that night, and it nearly brought me to tears. I believe it was God’s way of reminding me how much He can do in my life if I allow Him to. If I fully and relentlessly give myself to Him on this trip and throughout my life, he will do wonderful things for me.

Day 2:

Today, we were granted 10 minutes of solo time to reflect on the distractions in our lives that turn us away from God. Psalms 46:10 states, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” I took this to mean that when we are spending time with God, we need only to spend time with Him, which is part of minimizing distractions. In the moments we share with Him, he should be of the highest priority and importance to us. Psalms 86:11 says, “Teach me your way, Lord. That I may rely on your faithfulness, give me an undivided heart, that I may know your name.” To me, an undivided heart means that we do not love anything more than God. And I think this goes back to the first verse: God should be held higher than the rest, especially in our hearts.

Our nightly session tonight was impromptu. Our speaker emphasized to us that he really felt in his heart that the lesson he had planned was not what he needed to preach to us. He had a feeling that we needed a different lesson, so that’s what we were blessed with. Fear was the center of our message tonight. So many of us on a daily basis are run by fear — fear of what other people will think, fear of doing the right thing, fear of being our true selves. As Christians, we sometimes fear walking with God because we don’t want to be "that person." We don’t want to be the stereotypical Jesus follower that faces criticism and embarrassment daily. We want to follow God, but we’re afraid to for whatever reason haunts us. The main thing I learned tonight is that fear is a bad story-teller. Our lives are stories, and fear cannot tell our story well. Fear doesn’t deserve to run our life, and we don’t deserve to let it run our lives. God is the one to run our lives, if we choose to walk with Him. Without Him, we become stuck in a shadow of what we could/should be. Where there is Jesus, fear has no authority. At the end of the sermon, we were encouraged to be courageous and to let go of whatever fear was keeping us from worshiping to our full potential — to worship as though no one else was watching. At the height of the song, I looked over and saw something I had never seen before: a person singing and swaying (ever so slightly) to the music; a person I have known for a long time, who seldom sings. Who this person is doesn’t really matter, because he surrendered his fear tonight and worshipped fully, like no one was watching. There is no room for fear when Jesus has authority, and that is a beautiful thing.

Day 3:

Today we fasted from 11:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Fasting is a way to tie up any loose ends or resolve any problems with God — a way to show Him how serious you are about one thing in your life and changing it. You give up food until you have resolved it with Him. Fasting has to be done with an attitude of seriousness and sincerity. It allows our hearts and minds to be focused and directed on Him. Our focus is on God, and he will be the source of strength to help us through the fasting period. Our main reason for fasting was to honor the organization Feed My Starving Children. This organization sends meals to children across the world who would otherwise not eat. We had the opportunity today to help package meals to send to kids in need. As a conference, we packaged 300 boxes, which will serve and feed over 700 kids. Fasting one meal as a way to honor this organization was a small sacrifice that served well.

Tonight was a special night.

Day 4:

Relentless Resolve. If you hold God as the source of your pain, he cannot be the source of your healing. Do not run away from pain; surrender that pain to God. Everyone is dealing with something. No one is free from pain or suffering. There is a battle within everyone to fight. Everyone will fail/falter at some point in life. And in that moment, you have to turn to Jesus. Don’t lose heart because he is always with you. Your response to failure is what is most important. Peter, a disciple of Jesus, failed. He betrayed Jesus three times, in the last few moments of Jesus’ life. And unfortunately, when we fail, we go back to what we know, which isn’t always Jesus. Peter failed, but when Jesus urged him to express his love to Him, he was really telling Peter not to let his failure destroy his calling. Our callings are callings from God, and we cannot let our failure turn us away from those callings. Your failure isn’t your mistake. Your only mistake would be to turn away from Jesus. Jesus is worth it. Dying for Jesus is better than living for something else.

Day 5:

The moment I sat down on Monday at the opening session, I had a feeling wash over me that nearly brought me to tears. I didn’t know what it was, so I sort of brushed it off and forgot about it. Tonight, the Holy Spirit was with us. He surrounded us, rested in our hearts and allowed us to feel Him. I felt Him tonight, or what I think was Him. And, I think that’s what I felt on Monday. But tonight, I allowed myself to cry, because sometimes, something comes over you and you cannot help it -- you have to give in to your emotions. You have to feel. And I did. I raised my hands in worship and cried ever so slightly. I did not weep, but I wiped a few tears from my cheeks. I sang louder and more clearly than I ever had before. I felt completely moved and guided toward Him.

I still don’t know why I was sent to FMYC. I don’t think it was just for me to fulfill my love of the city, or because I wanted to go back. I think I went for other reasons, and those reasons are left to God. He chose me and allowed me to go for reasons I do not yet understand. Maybe I said something that helped one of the teens. Or maybe it was the listening ear I gave to a lonely older woman. And maybe it was just my presence that gave encouragement to the girls in the group of how to finish high school as a woman of God. I don’t know why I went, why I was sent. But I did, and I fully believe that God had reasons for me to go. He did something in me this week that was meaningful to someone, maybe to me, too. And for that, I am forever thankful and blessed to have had the opportunity.