Floating is always, and will forever be, an important aspect of summertime joyfulness, not summertime sadness. However, the only way floating would be the definition of summertime sadness would be not being able to find the perfect floatie that fits our needs. Even young children can't deny the simple fact that floating is relaxing and to be relaxed, you also need a perfect floatie. Of course, you do run into some complications with the floaties you have and try to seek out a new one as a result. Is it the way someone goes about trying to find the epitome of a perfect floatie? Maybe it is. This step-by-step guide will lead that floatie-lover on successful hunts and make us floatie-finding experts in no time.
1. Assess the floatie stash around you.
It’s like a floatie sea with multiple colors, sizes, patterns, shapes, etc. Throw away the floatie stock that just look depressingly old and grimy. Also, throw away the floaties that are breeding grounds for spiders and other creepy-crawly beings. If there's a spider family living on your floatie while you're floating, the spider is going to keep its house and the spider isn't going in the water, you are. And just face it, nobody is going to use those floaties anyway.
2. Narrow the candidates.
Now that you got rid of the floatie stash from the past, figure out which ones suit your floating style. Pick the one with the high back so you don’t need to lean back so far, or choose the remaining one with the dual cup holders. After all, what’s floating without a drink?
3. Test them out.
Take each floatie, one by one, to see which style you like best. Don’t like getting your butt wet? Then you shouldn’t even be floating. Just kidding. Floating is still great, wet butt or not. Grab the first option and test it out, surveying the likes and dislikes that it has. Too thin? Nope, not for you. Too flimsy? Get off the floatie unless you want to go for a swim, because that’s where you’re headed on that one. Unless you enjoy being practically on a futon in the water, then go for it.
4. Present the winner.
You’ve found the floatie! But news flash— it’s two years old. Assess what that floatie has and hit the market ASAP. You can’t be caught with an outdated floatie!
After all that precious time trying to find the best of the best, it will always be the same. And what makes the perfect summertime floating so perfect isn't necessarily the floatie, but the people that float with you. In the end, we search and search but always end up going back to that original floatie that barely keeps our butts dry and our drinks lake-water free.
