"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." - "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost
I always felt that this poem served as a constant in my life. I thought it was significant to always push myself to live fearlessly and walk to the beat of my own drum. Leaving my little bubble in Harford County, Maryland, I ventured 10 hours south to live in the beautiful city of Charleston, South Carolina, for college. I knew not one soul starting school, and that was exhilarating to me. I did not want to be safe and secure. I wanted to start anew by creating and developing my own connections -- not because I was eased into a comfortable introduction by a familiar acquaintance.
However, I lost myself. I lost my drive to be overly involved, to put myself out there, and to have the control and power in my life. This occurred for not one concrete reason, but rather it was influenced by a multitude of experiences and situations. I started to question my mentality of life... Maybe it is not necessary to always be different. Maybe it is not necessary to always strive for such a high level of excellence. Maybe it is not necessary to always be the person who will do the absolute right thing. Maybe I had tried too hard to be excel in life, and I should just try to be normal for lack of a better term. I thought maybe if I took this pressure off of myself, that I would be able to truly live better with fewer expectations...
This pressure, to change myself by taking off pressure... was... well it was pressure in itself!
I realized and learned a multitude of things about myself in the recent weeks. I have experienced some major life changes, which I know in the end will be for the best because it is all part of the greater plan. The things I realized were:
1. "You have to get lost before you can be found." As cliché as it sounds, it is true. I needed to flounder. A wise friend of mine, whose advice I cherish immensely, told me that it is not in the moments of greatness that we grow, but during the times of hardship and misfortune. I allowed myself to be vulnerable in my solitude. Instead of immediately finding gratification from another person or a social media outlet, I simply sat and rest in my own skin. I contemplated deep in my thoughts, and for the first time in a while, I listened to myself.
2. Happiness comes from within. I really thought I would have learned this by now... but I truly had not. It is very dangerous to allow others to have the power to dictate your happiness. Others can take share in my happiness, they can add to it, but they never should control it. I am 100% responsible for what I think, what I feel, and what I do. What we do not have control of are other people's actions, but we do have control of our own reactions.
3. Never question taking the path less traveled. And by less traveled, I absolutely mean the path which I want. It does not necessarily mean you must always be an outlier or be different; it means do you. Whether it is a path that has been a little trodden by others, or whether it is completely overgrown with not a trace of a footstep, the path less traveled is simply a metaphor for the path in which is right for you.
The learning is constant; it will never end. These mere life revelations are just the beginning. The same wise friend that I mentioned above also told me that teenagers have millions of half-lives. They are constantly changing. You may not be the same person you were a year, a month, a day, or even five minutes ago. But that is what is beautiful about each of our individual paths... they can change at any time. And you know what, that is okay. Just take that step into the unknown, and you already are one your way to discovering yourself.
