Passion. It's something we all have. For a person. For a thing. In the non-romantic sense of the word, passion is "strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or doing something" according to Merriam-Webster dictionary. From my 20-something years of living, I've learned that passion fuels us. In return, a sense of purpose is instilled in our very spirits, and we become unwavering.
Personally, my passion has always been for soccer. The foul odor stemming from my gear bag, the pregame meal and rituals, the freshly cut grass, the adrenaline rush right before kick-off, and of course - the actual 90 minutes of end to end action - it's what I've always lived for. As frustrating as the game can be for me on more than one occasion, I've never been happier than the moments the ball is at my feet and when I'm playing alongside my teammates. It's true that I have a wonderful support system stemming from my friends and family, and I truly do enjoy spending time with them. Those factors not withstanding, I find myself in a microcosm of emptiness when I'm away from the beautiful game. The flame that has raged so intensely in my heart vanishes. I'm left asking myself, "What do I love? Is there anything aside from soccer that pushes me to be better? Can I derive my pride, poise, purpose, and passion elsewhere? Is it time to start acquiring more hobbies-will a new sense of passion be unraveled?"
Obviously, passion for something isn't something built over night. I believe that it requires development, and it also comes with knowing and experimenting with what resonates with ones tastes and beliefs; both of the aforementioned come with time. For instance, I did not obtain true zeal for soccer until I was 13 years old, which was 7 years after I first started playing the game. To be honest, I could not have more respect for those that have truly transformed their passions into professions. Whether it's the fine arts, the sciences, health and fitness, teaching, coaching, politics, so on and so fourth, I find myself awestruck by the myriad of things that give people purpose and senses of pride and fulfillment in what they do. I notice the twinkle in the eyes of my professors whenever they're lecturing, the excitement from my coaches' whenever they're training my teammates and I, etc. What I'm trying to get at is this: whenever I encounter someone who is truly immersed in something they are passionate about, I can not help but feel the love and energy they are exuding. It's contagious, and resonates with my very being.
Soccer not withstanding, I am clueless as to what my passion is. As a result, an uneasy void has engulfed the atmosphere around me. My inner fire has diminished, and I'm left pondering the future and wondering what is there to pursue once my playing days are officially over. I believe I'll find the answer when the time comes, and when I do, it will push me forward. From there, a new world of possibilities will unfold. Until then, I'm left searching for something that will set my soul on fire.
