Now that you’ve graduated, I want to offer you a warm welcome into the life of the so-called “Real Adult.” Now that you’ve conquered your major, it’s time to move on to life’s next adventure. One side note, though, as you revel in the victory of leaving college: this might not be as easy as you thought it would be.
Somewhere in between balancing all these new bills, your new job(s) and new lifestyle, you might want to find time to make some new friends. It might be that all of your college friends moved away, or all of your friends are actually still in college and you moved away. Whatever the case may be, finding people you enjoy spending time with outside a school-based environment can be easier said than done. Luckily, where there’s a will, there’s a way. Here are a few tips on how to form new friendships once you’ve left your school years behind.
1. Work work work work work
Do like Rihanna and get on that daily grind! One of the easiest ways to meet new friends after graduation is to hang out with your coworkers. After all, you spend 40 hours a week with these people, why not get to know them? If you like them enough, you can hang out outside of work, too. Being friends with coworkers can make your work week vastly more enjoyable. It’s also a natural starting place for you to meet new people since, you know, you kind of have to talk to them to get your job done.
2. Let your network know you’ve moved
It might seem a little cliche, but noting your change in residence on Facebook, Twitter and other social media platforms can actually help you make connections in your new city. Friends that have turned into acquaintances due to the strains of distance may reappear out of the woodwork and offer to take you on a tour of the town.
People move all the time for work, family and other reasons, especially post-graduation. Who knows, you might live just down the street from one of your Facebook friends. Why not make them an actual friend too?
3. There’s an app for that
While we’re on the topic of technology, outside of social media platforms designed to keep you in touch with people you already know, there are many apps and tools designed to introduce you to people you don’t know. I’m not talking about Tinder, Bumble and other dating apps, but, I mean, if that’s your thing, certainly go for it. Depending on your community, there are a variety of apps available that may connect you with groups of people going out to do something fun in your area.
For instance, I’ve found the app MeetUp to be a fun and useful tool to find fun ways to meet new people around Madison. MeetUp has options for you to search by hobby, activity or even age group, and you can join a group of like-minded people to do something fun. Leverage the power of technology in meeting your next best friend (or at least a friendly acquaintance).
4. Find power in numbers
You’ve managed to lock down one new friendship - congratulations! Chances are, your new friend has friends of their own that they’ve bonded with before you came along. It might be intimidating to go out with a group of people where you only know one person, but why not multiply the power of that friendship to make a few more? If you like this person enough, maybe you’ll like their other friends, too.
5. When all else fails, have faith
Okay, don't feel the need to change your belief system or do anything crazy. But in all seriousness, finding like-minded people who believe what you believe is a surefire way to bond with someone. And if you don’t hail from a particular religious tradition, maybe it’s time to explore that side of who you are.
Or, if this is all objectionable to you, there are also plenty of agnostic or atheistic groups that gather to discuss their thoughts on the world. There’s bound to be a community that aligns with your faith, or philosophy, somewhere near to your home sweet home.
6. Get ripped
Now that you don’t have to deal with homework, it’s time to do that thing you’ve been putting off the past four-plus years: exercise. Although signing up for a typical gym membership might not be the best way to socialize, joining a running or cycling club, or even a group that takes regular walks each week may be a good way to see some friendly faces.
Activities where you can catch your breath enough to talk a little bit, but still bring you together for a common purpose, are a great way to make new connections. Or, maybe, you’ll find all that sweat and effort to be a bonding experience (albeit a somewhat painful one).
7. Learn something
Yeah, I know you’re probably tired of the whole school thing, but given enough time, you might feel the itch to learn something new. Consider enrolling in a class at a local technical college to gain some knowledge and meet new people. During my first few months out of college, I enrolled in a sewing class at UW Madison. I didn’t end up making lasting connections, but I did gain enough from the experience to make a t-shirt quilt. Even if you don’t end up with lifelong friends, you’ll at least have a new skill to explore.
8. Leave your house and go out in public
The urge to stay in bed or curl up inside can be powerful at times, but the first basic step to meeting new people is getting out of your house, and getting out of your comfort zone. Find events going on in your community and go—even if you go by yourself. It could be a theatre performance, farmer’s market, political event or something totally different.
When I moved to Madison, I went to a public showing of the Bachelorette premiere at a local theatre, where they gave everyone roses and canned wine. I remember seeing another girl there sitting alone and feeling too shy to say hello. In retrospect, I wish I had; she was probably trying to meet new friends, too.
9. Be helpful
You don't need to volunteer for the Hunger Games to make new friends (although you have to admit, Katniss definitely formed some new bonds as a result!). Besides making a positive impact on your community (or even the world), volunteering enables you to socialize with people who care about the same things you do.
Are you a die-hard animal lover? Volunteer at your local humane society and find people who are just as pet-crazy as you are. Do you feel strongly about a political party or issue? Go picket with those who empathize with your views. You might find new friends in between shouting catchy protest slogans.
Ultimately, the effort you put into finding friendships in your new, post-college life is equivalent to what you’ll get back from your endeavors. Remember not to neglect your old friendships, as many will continue to be important to you throughout your life. Above all, be open to new experiences and new people, and friendship is sure to find you.
