As a young adult I can fully understand the desire to find love – to find a companion, a best friend; however, it has taken me awhile to realize a very important aspect pertaining to an individual’s search for “the one”. In college you find yourself becoming engulfed by endless deadlines that must be met and tough decisions you have to make – more pressure is seemingly put on one’s future at every turn. You must decide what to do with your future. Figure out how to financially make it out alive. Turn in papers. Register for classes. As your mind keeps jumping to what lies ahead, you can’t help but worry about whom you will end up with in the uncertain future you are trying so desperately to plan out.

Even though you should primarily be the focus of this crazy time in life, I have found it easy to loose sight of that. You are faced with immense amounts of pressure, and constantly met with life changing decisions. It can become easy to feel yourself pulling back, and shutting down – just making decisions for the sake of moving forward in the race to a successful, timely future. While it can be hard to hold onto our sanity and come to conclusions at the base of so many difficult decisions, we can’t let this happen. We can’t let ourselves pull away. This is when we will find out more about ourselves than we will at any other point in our lives. It is a buffer between childhood and becoming an adult. This is when we find ourselves.

If we are busy running through these years making hasty, impulsive decisions we will never give ourselves the chance to understand what we are fully capable of. It has come to my attention that this is the time to focus entirely on ourselves. This is the time to be selfish. It is immensely important that we give ourselves the opportunity to surmount to our full potentials in life and understand who we are meant to become as individuals. Coming to this realization and choosing to not let your judgment become clouded will prepare you for who you are meant to be with in the future.

A quote from Rune Lazuli sums this idea up perfectly: “if she is passionate, you must be patient”. Allow yourself to be passionate. Allow yourself to explore the limits of your inner being. Find yourself first.