Holden Desalles once said, "The path to whatever your notion of success is will not likely be linear. Don't take continuous personal growth for granted. Just because you're older doesn't necessarily mean you're wiser. Your 20s will be full of failures, let them happen and learn as you go," and as my friends and I all enter our twenties, these words seem to resonate with me more each day.
It's not a secret to anyone that your twenties are supposed to be your years to find yourself and discover what you're passionate about. However, I think someone somewhere along the line forgot to inform us on how hard that'd be.
It's not easy to pursue what you're passionate about and put yourself out there, anyone who's managed to successfully get through that process can tell you that in a million different ways. What many people will fail to tell you is how hard it is to discover what gives you purpose in the first place.
What's your foundation? What's the unchanging thing in your heart that you'd like to give back to the world? What gives all the night outs and everyday routines meaning and shape to you?
Though these questions seem to run you over all at once when you turn 20, it's important to reevaluate these things over and over again throughout our lives, especially in times where the world and we, as individuals, are changing so quickly.
To make it easier though, I've discovered twenty things to implement into your life that have helped myself and others get closer to finding our own purpose. Though these things won't guarantee to solve the puzzle that's tailored specifically to you, I wholeheartedly believe they'll make the process easier, quicker, and even a little fun along the way.
1. Say yes to everything
Before any immediate backlash, I'd like to point out that I don't think saying yes to everything is something you should do often or at all in certain situations. However, it's difficult to know what you love giving your time to if you don't try it first.
So, with that being said, the local festival that's looking for volunteers? Sign up. A nearby nonprofit looking for someone to run their social media account? Say yes. Leadership position, a class in a new subject, writing articles for your favorite website? Yes, yes, and yes.
It'll be terrifying and stressful at first, but it'll open up versions of yourself and parts of your mind you may have never known were there.
2. Give weight to the simple things
It has been said before that purpose is all about texture over impact. This basically means that if you can give "texture" to the mundane, everyday things you glance over on any given afternoon, then you may find yourself rediscovering it for something that has more weight than you ever gave it credit for.
Ask about your boss or professor's day and hold an interest in what they have to say. Observe the things that happen around you on your walk to class with genuine spark and curiosity. When you're making dinner, try to look up new culinary skills and recipes by famous chefs.
You may find that there's purpose hiding in the strangest, most unseen places all around you.
3. Never stop learning
It's crazy to realize that for anything that can spark your interest at any time, whether it's unsolved mysteries, deep sea diving, or the behavior of your dog, there is most likely a book, article or documentary on it. Instead of leaving those moments of fascination at Google's doorstep, take the time to delve into it and get to the bottom of why it peaked your interest in the first place.
You don't need to be in a classroom to keep on challenging your mind.
4. Simplify
Take everything in the room that you haven't engaged or looked through in a while and stick it in a trash bag. Remove contacts that don't serve your life anymore. Break your tasks down smaller and smaller until they're so manageable that they seem almost silly.
We often tend to ruin things that could potentially become a passion for ourselves just by thinking too hard about them. Simplifying is a form of putting your ability to complicate things to a screeching halt and welcoming space in your life for new activities instead.
5. Recognize what fuels you
If something has you so angry you can hardly speak, ask yourself why. If something makes your heart so happy that you can't stop smiling, ask yourself why. Strong emotions are normally only reserved to what fuels our soul, which is why it's important to identify when the strong emotions hit. Finding the source of those emotions is a jackpot in terms of self-awareness.
6. Be alone
Whether it's in a restaurant, movie theater, bookstore, or any other place reserved for public and social use, learning to find solitude in places where you'd normally need to be accompanied by a friend is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It's through this that you learn how to enjoy your own company and stay in tune with your thoughts and feelings.
7. ...and then surround yourself with people who push you
When you're done discovering yourself in solitude, it's an outdated but timelessly valuable piece of advice to make sure that the people you spend your time with are pushing you to be the best version of yourself. Ask yourself, do I like who I am with these people? Do they inspire to do or be any better than I am now?
8. Be the person you'd want to fall in love with
Instead of searching for the one person who will bring meaning to your life, become that person. You want to find someone kind and selfless? Pay for the coffee of the person who's standing in front of you in line. You want someone upbeat and positive? Create a gratitude journal and invest in things that bring you joy.
Sometimes it's hard to forget that the person of your dreams can just be you, if you pursue that every day.
9. Create things for no purpose at all
"Wait... so you're telling me to do things without purpose in order to find purpose?" Absolutely. Fill up a sketchbook even if you have no idea how to draw, write a song you never plan on sharing, or even just
10. Embrace mediocrity
It's a hard truth to recognize that we're not all destined to be
Strive for the best you can do, but also realize that most of your greatness can be found in your smallest accomplishments. Rejoice in a B+, reward yourself for stepping outside of your comfort zone, celebrate the fact that you got outside today.
Purpose is ultimately knowing that your life is meaningful and that you're giving back to the world, and sometimes the first step is to just introduce yourself to the world with joy, confidence, and open arms.
It's not easy to find purpose when you're 20. It's also not easy to find purpose when you're 25, 30, or 40. But at the end of the day, we're all on the same journey. We might as well cheer each other on.
