College can be a confusing time with classes, clubs and organizations, homework and trying to have a social life; it can be even more confusing when you try to add relationships into the mix.

In high school I read a book called “And the Bride Wore White.” In this book, Dannah Gresh asks the reader to create a list of qualities they want their future husband to have. I created a list after reading the book, and I have changed and updated it many times since. It’s kind of funny to see the things that I once thought were important in a boy that are not as important any more.

Here are some of the things that I think are really important to look for when looking for a future spouse. I’ve learned that it’s okay to have high expectations and standards; the right guy will live up to those standards and will not make you compromise the things you find are important (notice I said high standards, not impossible or unrealistic).

Find the person that..

1. Loves God more than he will ever love you.

It is important to find a guy that puts God before anyone else. If he doesn’t love God and follow Him faithfully, then he will not be able to love you the way a husband should. We all have to know and love God first because God is love (refer to 1 John 4:8). He shows us how to love others, and He expects us to do just that. Without Him guiding us in this area, we will fail.

2. Doesn’t make you feel like a burden.

Don’t get me wrong, relationships aren’t perfect. There will be trying times, and times where there will be disagreements. But a relationship shouldn’t be arguing and fighting all the time. You need to find someone that you work well with and that doesn’t make you feel like a bother or a nuisance.

3. Is patient.

I don’t know about you, but I mess up a lot. I am the first to say that I am not perfect, and, quite frankly, I never will be. After coming to this realization, I’ve learned that I needed someone that was going to be patient with me. When I mess up on something I usually am aware of the fact that I did. I don’t need someone that gets mad at me or continuously refers to the fact that I didn’t do something right. I just get frustrated when this happens. Someone who is patient and helps me through the problem is way more effective than someone who makes the problem worse.

4. Wants to make a difference.

So many guys in college think that partying and being able to talk to every girl on campus is attractive. Well, in my eyes it’s not. If a guy wants to impress me, I want to know the things they are doing in their community or on their campus to make a difference. I want to know how they are impacting their friends and witnessing to others. These things are what truly make a difference.

5. Makes you laugh.

I am the type of person that loves to laugh and have a good time. My laugh may or may not be obnoxious, but I love to laugh nonetheless. I cannot stand being bored, and I always have to be doing something. In my mind, the right guy will be someone that can make me laugh. When I’m having a bad day and things just don’t seem to be going right, I want to be able to count on him to make me laugh or smile.

6. Has similar interests.

We all have things that we are interested in, and we all have things that bore us to death. For me, I like to get out and do things, or go on adventures as I like to call them. Sitting around and watching movies all the time is not my cup of tea. I like to do things outside, and I like being active. Don’t get me wrong, going to the movies is okay every now and then, but I would much rather be outside going on “adventures.”

7. Sees the inside not just the outside.

Someone’s appearance is typically the first thing that we notice about other people, but that’s not what I want someone to focus on. I want someone to see me for who I am. The guys that are superficial and only care about how a girl looks make me sick. People age, it’s inevitable. The thing that won’t age is a person’s heart, so make sure that’s what you fall in love with.

8. Isn’t afraid to be weird.

I am not a shy person, and I definitely have no problem with being who I truly am (even though some people may see me as a weirdo). If I am lucky enough I will find someone just as weird as I am or weirder (if that’s possible). I think that finding someone who is comfortable in their own skin is important.

9. Is easy to be with.

My last point can sometimes be the toughest. Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that have just become a habit. We stay in them because we don’t know anything else and it’s “comfortable.” One of the most important things to remember is if you have to force yourself to be with someone it may not be the right person. Relationships are going to have trials and hard times, but that shouldn’t be all the time. Be with someone that brings out the best in you and nothing less.

These are some of the points that I have come up with myself, and as you can see none of them have to deal with how much money a guy has or his physical appearance. Those aren’t the things that we should be concentrating on because those things can change at any time.

One last thing I want to bring to your attention is while you are waiting for this person, prepare yourself. Make sure that all of these qualities are a part of who you are. You cannot expect something from someone without making sure you aren’t a walking contradiction. Be sure that you are prepared to offer the things that you expect from others. Pray that God will help you understand the areas in your life that still need a little work. I encourage you to make your own list and think of the qualities that you think are important to find in someone