First, I want to acknowledge that this isn't going to immediately hit home with everyone who reads it. However, I urge the reader to push forward. Second, this is not a pity party for me. I loathe the idea of that. This is just a string of thoughts that I am attempting to coherently piece together so that I can put my mind at ease. Writing is cathartic for me. Third, I am a Christian. I want to assure the reader that this is more than a proclamation of my faith during this time. There may be times when this sounds preach-y, but please hear me out. It is not intended to be that way. This is merely meant to be a reflection of my inner thoughts and journey during this time.

With that being said, let me begin.

I am in a 14-day self-quarantine period as a pre-caution because I just flew back home from Colorado to Mississippi via the Denver International Airport and the Louis Armstrong airport in New Orleans. I am not leaving my house, unless it is to go for a walk or to sit outside. I live ten minutes outside of the city, so being unable to actively practice social distancing isn't a problem. I am doing this because I went home for a funeral. A mass gathering a fifty plus people. I stayed with my grandparents and aunt. My aunt is a nurse at a hospital in Louisiana. She is one of the most cautious people I know. She does her job well.

No, I didn't knowingly encounter anyone who was confirmed with COVID-19. But isn't that the whole point? You don't know you have it until you have it, and by then you don't know how many others you've infected. I was in those airports twice, and I was at a funeral. Just because I was being cautious, wearing a face mask and washing my hands, doesn't mean others were. So, I am social distancing. I am working from home, as is the rest of the office. I am doing my best to be a part of flattening the curve.

I couldn't sleep last night as the reality hit me that I am 18 hours away from home while a pandemic is spreading rapidly around the globe. I choked back sobs as this settled into my spirit. I felt alone. I was calling out to God. I was lifting my hands in worship as tears streamed down my cheeks during this grieving.

I started watching a video announcement on social media during this time about what my church back home was doing to maintain compliance with CDC recommendations. Small watch parties for church services. New ways to create small groups.

I was aching at the idea that I would be missing this opportunity to grow closer with my church family back home. I was paralyzed by the idea that I am so far removed from my community back home. I am in self-quarantine because of a tragic trip I had to make back home.

At the same time, I was torn. I was torn because I know the peace that I felt when I accepted this opportunity in Colorado. God paved the way for me to successfully make it out here and embark on the journey encompassing the next six months of my life. I didn't know what God had for me out here. Whether it was the chance to meet new people, see a knew world, or have a great deal of personal growth. . . I still don't know.

But I do know that God knew that this was going to happen. He isn't shocked or surprised by the horrors we face.

And still, He gave me peace as I accepted the job. He gave me the people and resources I needed to get here. He guided me to a new, temporary church family.

Maybe I'm here to be a light for this community. Maybe I'm here to personally grow my relationship with God. Maybe it is all the above. I don't know.

But I do know all the love and comfort I can find in God's word.

"And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:25-34

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

"When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place." 2 Chronicles 7:13-15

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:11-12

"God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him." John 3:17

David defeated Goliath. There was another in the fire. Daniel was saved from the mouth of the lion. The weapon may be formed, but it won't prosper. Jesus said, "It is finished!"

I do know that God has provided a way for me to stay connected with my church family back home. In the midst of this pandemic, they're holding services online Sundays and Wednesdays. They're pushing online small groups. I can be a part of this. I watched the video announcing all these things amid my grief and panic last night and praised God. God sees us. He provides a way for us. He sent Jesus to advocate for us. A savior. A brother. A friend.

Right now, we are being called to stay at home. I know this is hard because we were created to be in fellowship with each other. However, we can do this in more creative ways in 2020. We have all this technology to stay connected during this time.

During this time, I want to encourage everyone— myself included— to remember that we need each other. We should be showing compassion instead of fear. We should proactively be the church right now. It takes all of us to flatten the curve. Listen to the healthcare professionals and leading scientists. Maintain proper hygiene and wash your hands often for 20 seconds. Practice social distancing. Make sure your fellow community members are okay. Remember the least of these.

Remember Matthew 25:34-46

You might ask, but who are 'the least of these' right now?

The least of these are the elderly. The immune-compromised. Those with pre-existing conditions. Children who rely on school for meals twice a day that aren't in school right now. Our military, those who are at home and overseas. Our doctors, nurses and healthcare professionals. Retail workers. Servers in restaurants. Small business owners. Scientists and epidemiologists who are working hard on a vaccine. Those who are still experiencing daily tragedies such as deaths by car accidents. Me, and all the other AmeriCorps members and Peace Corps members who are away from home right now doing service terms.

Remember us. Check on us. These are exhausting times for everyone, and we all need each other's support. We need to keep faith.

Things will not always be this way. Remember that you were created for times such as these.

If this is something that you found interesting or fun to read, let me know. I don't write a lot, and definitely not to post publicly. If you hated this, please keep it to yourself. We're practicing being kind right now.