As a freshman in college, this was my first experience with the all-famed finals week. Though I would say my finals week was a little different than most, considering I landed in the ER on Friday (the last day of my finals). Though as I lay on the floor of my dorm bathroom at 4:00 a.m., writhing in pain and wondering why no one had cleaned that one footprint off of the wall yet, I could only think of my finals.
I know, it’s a weird thought to be having before being shipped to the ER, and maybe I was just having a fever dream, but right in the thick of my pain, I started writing. When I finally got out of the ER, I looked back at the poetry I had written about finals week. It’s honestly atrocious writing, but, hey, isn’t finals week atrocious itself? Here’s some poetry about finals week, from the perspective of a first-year in a bathroom in agony at 4:00 a.m.
Monday: 7:40 a.m.
There’s my alarm
I have no finals today
I don’t care what you say
I’m not leaving this bed anytime soon
I’m sleeping till fucking noon
Monday: 8:00 p.m.
There's my textbook
Unopened on my desk
Maybe I should give it a look
Or maybe I should just watch Netflix
I really don't want to read about politics
Tuesday: 11:00 a.m.
Oh shit, I need to study
Oh shit, I can’t believe I didn’t study yesterday
Oh shit, I can’t read what my class notes say
Oh shit, this textbook is dry as hell
I just need a course retell
Wednesday: 12:00 p.m.
I made a mistake on my presentation
Please point it out in front of my teacher
Really man? It was such a small feature
It sucks
Your point has been made
This thing was worth 20 percent of my grade
Thursday: 1:30 p.m.
My partner is 15 minutes late
I’m about to leave at this rate
My chair is uncomfortable
I think I lost a glove
Working alone is favorable
Friday: 4:00 a.m.
An all nighter with my UTI
Shivering on the bathroom floor
Just trying to get by
My body is killing me
I just want my degree
Friday: 11:30 a.m.
Looks like I’m missing my final exam
I’m in the ER, man
Can’t make it up?
Fuck
