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Finals Week: As Told By Ron Swanson

"Happy" Finals week

Haylee Olley

Dec 05, 2016

Wesley College National Writers Society

rom

Finals week: two words that send chills up every college students spine. A time where stress and anxiety are high and sleeping is rare. To lift up everyone's spirits, I decided to write Finals week: as told by the ever loving, sarcastic, funny Ron Swanson from the hit TV show "Parks and Recreation." So sit back relax, and laugh a little. And good luck to all of you on finals.

1. Two weeks before the finals begin all is calm, and peaceful in the world.

Not being stressed is a wonderful thing, being able to relax and have a bit of homework is great. But with great power, comes great responsibility.

2. That is until the professors begin to hand out the final reviews

When the professors begin to hand out the reviews, part of you will die inside.

3. Then the work starts to pile up, you tell yourself that everything is okay!

Keep telling yourself, I WILL GET THIS PAPER DONE ON TIME. Do not procrastinate!

4. Before you know it, the week before finals arrives.

If you listen closely, you can hear thousands of college kids screaming in terror. Where did time go? Now, the stress with truly begin.

5. And that's when the panicking begins

Set up a schedule for yourself to get papers done, naps, don't wait to do something 'til the very last minute.

6. You begin to eat more than usual

Food is love..food is life..eating is a good way to relieve stress. or get in a food coma. Make sure to eat before your exams!

7. Sleeping Becomes Rare

Goodbye, sleep. Hello, insanity.

8.You stop caring

You might feel as if all hope is lost, that you're a failure to the world. You're not keep pushing yourself and you may survive.

9. The Morning Of Exams

Yeah, what Ron said. Have faith in yourself when you take your final, turn in your project, or essay. Even if you winged it, make it look like you have an idea on what you're doing.

10. After the first exam

Have faith in yourself and you will do fine.

11. Opening your parents care package

I couldn't find any other gifs okay. But your parents believe in you, make them proud and work your butt off.

12. Your last final

God finally answered your cries of need. Take your time and finish strong; before you know it you'll be on your way home getting ready to see your family and enjoy Christmas break!

13. Christmas Break!

After all of your hard work this semester, it is finally Christmas break. Go home, relax and enjoy some time off and be with family and friends. And prepare yourself for another fun, and exciting semester. (I know, this is Leslie, not Ron)

Happy Holidays and good luck to all of you on finals!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Finals Week: As Told By Ron Swanson

"Happy" Finals week

1. Two weeks before the finals begin all is calm, and peaceful in the world.

2. That is until the professors begin to hand out the final reviews

3. Then the work starts to pile up, you tell yourself that everything is okay!

4. Before you know it, the week before finals arrives.

5. And that's when the panicking begins

6. You begin to eat more than usual

7. Sleeping Becomes Rare

8.You stop caring

9. The Morning Of Exams

10. After the first exam

11. Opening your parents care package

12. Your last final

13. Christmas Break!

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No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

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