It's that time of year again. For three months, your professors have been putting off actually teaching you anything. Then dead week rolls around, and it's time to get serious. They cram in seven chapters of the eight chapter text book and give you three essays, six worksheets, and a study guide to complete by Friday. Grab the books, coffee, and alcohol, folks. It's time to get ready with Leslie Knope.
1. You realize that finals start in two weeks, and you haven't been paying attention in lectures for the last twelve.
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2. The Monday of dead week, you sit yourself down and make a schedule. You're gonna get s*%t done.
3. It doesn't work. You'll do anything to avoid studying.
4. You finally start studying on Sunday night. A week later.
5. What does this mean? When did we learn this?
6. I have never heard this term before in my entire life.
7. You study like a madman to comprehend all of those terms that you've been given. Day and night. Coffee is your only savior.
8. You realize your shortcomings, and go through the five stages of grief.
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Acceptance
9. You stop worrying (briefly). It doesn't really matter, anyways.
10. Except that it does.
What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame? Does it have a name? Yes. Loathing. Unadulterated loathing.
13. But you find people you can hate more. The ones that only have one test the whole week. And they're still complaining about their stress levels.
15. You make yourself a deal. You'll get a reward after this week.
17. You really wish you would have studied more, because you have no idea what any of the answers are, and your entire timed essay is just you repeating yourself.
18. Finally. The week is over. You cry. You rejoice. But mostly, you sleep.
19. You feel like you can take on the world.
20. Until next semester.
