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Student Life

Finals Week Haikus

Some colorful poetry about every student's favorite time of the year

Grant Utter

Dec 12, 2016

University of Georgia

Hey Sigmund

Reminder

Big test tomorrow!

My computer tries to say.

Hit the "x" button

Have you started the paper?

Of course I haven't

My priorities are fucked

please don't speak to me

12-Hour Library Session

Staring at a screen

Hunched in a wooden chair

Prolific butt sweat

Attention to detail

Sure, I have been writing,

But am I retaining stuff?

Definitely not.

I fell asleep while cramming and now the test is in thirty minutes

How long has it been?

I still haven't learned jack shit

there's spit on my cheek

Alive, awake, alert and enthusiastic

Espresso, two shots

Knocking back my steaming drink

makes my stomach ache

Finals Chic

This is the same shirt

you saw me in yesterday

paired with pajamas

Searching

Looking for a pen

Pretty sure I lost it with

my will to go on

Temptation

I look to my left

Becky's multiple choice is

so close to my face

Object Impermanence

Not looking at it

means that it doesn't exist

Right, HOPE Scholarship?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Finals Week Haikus

Some colorful poetry about every student's favorite time of the year

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Think of everything that you've heard about college... and completely forget it.

1. If you thought that you knew how to study, you're wrong.

2. So you're living with a stranger...

3. You will lose some of your high school friends.

4. New friends are amazing!

5. You will feel like a visitor at home.

6. Embrace the party scene... or not.

7. FOMO is very real and you will feel every bit of it.

8. A good-night's sleep? What is that?

9. The "Freshman 15" is a myth... Sort of.

10. There's nothing better than a fresh start.

11. Yes, it will be the best years of your life!

Moms: the only reason voicemail still exists.

1. Leaves you voice mails.

2. When you answer, the phone says, "Hey it's Mom!", even though you have caller ID.

3. Tells you things about your friends she found out on Facebook.

4. Fast-forwards through sex scenes.

5. Asks you what really provocative song lyrics mean.

6. Comments on everything you post online.

7. Asks you if you are seeing anyone.

8. Tells you what she had for dinner when you aren't home.

9. Asks you the same question over and over.

10. Tells you you need a haircut.

11. Tells you you need to start eating more.

12. Snoops on your life.

13. Wakes you up in the morning in that annoying calm voice.

14. Tells you she's proud of you about everything.

15. Uses lingo in the dorkiest way.

16. Asks you to vote for her favorite contestants on 'American Idol,' 'Dancing with the Stars,' or 'The Voice.'

17. Makes a ridiculous amount of snacks when your friends come over.

18. Loves you unconditionally.

Blonde hair, don't care!

1. Mentally preparing yourself to convince your hair dresser that white is the way to go.

2. Or the anxiety of what could go wrong by bleaching your hair at home.

3. You could either become a ginger

4. Or a pixie

5. The face you make in the mirror when you take off your towel to unveil the perfect white strands.

6. Taking a million selfies the day you bleached it, because you know your roots will be back in literally 2 days.

7. Having to get bangs or a big chop because your hair is so damaged.

8. Having orange highlights in between touch-ups.

9. Going out for a drink afterwards to debut your updated look.

"Uh? Eating? Am I Eating? Yeah..."

"Oh, yeah. I've been eating super healthy"

"Sorry, I can't talk! I'm studying!"

"I aced my final! No worries!"

"My grades? Uh..my professor hasn't updated them in awhile.."

"Everyone failed that test. Not just me!"

"I go to class literally every day. I'm NEVER late"

"I really try to just spend money on necessities.."

"No, I didn't call just to ask for money.."

"I'm feeling really motivated about the coming semester.."

"I'm really right on track to graduate"

I'll be there for you.

1. MONICA: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it!

2. JOEY: You can’t just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?

3. JOEY: Here come the meat sweats.

4. WILL: We started a rumor.

RACHEL: What rumor?

PHOEBE: Oh, come on Will! Just take off your shirt and tell us!

5. ROSS: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.

SUSAN: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don’t let you do it.

6. PHOEBE: Come on Ross, you’re a paleontologist. Dig a little deeper.

7. JANICE: OH… MY… GOD!!!!

8. CHANDLER: WHOOPAH

9. JOEY: Well, I’m sorry if I’m not a middle-aged black woman. And I’m also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition.

10. JOEY: Hey, Ross, I got a science question: If the homo sapiens were, in fact, HOMO sapiens… is that why they’re extinct?

ROSS: Joey, homo sapiens are people.

JOEY: Hey, I’m not judgin’!

11. PHOEBE: If it’s a girl, Phoebe. And if it’s a boy, Pheebo.

12. CHANDLER: Hold on, there’s something different.

ROSS: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.

CHANDLER: Was that place the sun?

13. JANICE: 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.

14. JOEY: Paper… Snow… It’s a ghost!

15. JOEY: Is it obvious I’m wearing six sweaters?

16. PHOEBE: THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION!

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