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Finals Week: As Told By Elf

Son of a NUT-CRACKER

Dec 12, 2016

Imagine what would happen if someone recreated Elf and threw him into college, during finals week. This is how I think it would go...

1. Walking in to that first final...

"This place reminds me of Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me."

2. You forgot to study chapter 9 of Macroeconomics

"Son of a NUT-cracker!"

3. That one friend who insists all of his/her finals were easy

"You sit on a throne of lies!"

4. Mental breakdown number one

"I'm sorry I ruined your lives and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR."

5. Pre-study sesh snack time

"We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup."

6. After you bomb your second final of the day

"So, good news. I saw a dog today."

7. Mental breakdown number seventy-two

"Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toy-maker in the world? I am a cotton-headed ninny-muggins!"

8. Trying to find someone to study with

"Deb, you have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card."

9. When you realize you have to pass these finals to graduate

"Some call it 'the show,' or 'the big dance;' it's the profession that every elf aspires to- and that is to build toys in Santa's workshop."

10. You're finally finished and you get those grades back...

"You did it! Congratulations! World's best cup of coffee! Great job everybody! It's great to be here!"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Finals Week: As Told By Elf

Son of a NUT-CRACKER

1. Walking in to that first final...

2. You forgot to study chapter 9 of Macroeconomics

3. That one friend who insists all of his/her finals were easy

4. Mental breakdown number one

5. Pre-study sesh snack time

6. After you bomb your second final of the day

7. Mental breakdown number seventy-two

8. Trying to find someone to study with

9. When you realize you have to pass these finals to graduate

10. You're finally finished and you get those grades back...

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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