With Christmas just around the corner and the semester's end drawing near, what better way to celebrate the holidays than studying for final exams? While the family is back home decorating the Christmas tree, drinking warm apple cider and eating those soft, chewy Christmas cookies with the reindeer on them, you'll be in the library cramming for finals. I only wish that these first couple weeks in December could be merry, but this won't be the case until the stages have passed.
1. The "I don't want to be alive right now" Stage
A student's low point. This stage usually occurs after realizing the severity of their procrastination. "I would rather die than open up this textbook" "I literally can't even." "Honestly, I'd rather be asleep."
2. The Stage of Denial/Disbelief
Ignoring finals won't make them go away. "There is no way this is actually happening." "But finals aren't that big of a deal. I don't even need to study that hard." "Finals are a joke."
3. The "I'm angry at everything and everyone" Stage
Watching all your friends, who somehow have no work to do or finals to study for, hang out together but you can't. "Okay I get it, I need to study." "Leave me alone." "Can't you see I'm busy?" "I'm not mad, I'm just stressed out."
4. The "Profanity makes me feel better" Stage
You're a little angry. You're a little upset. But curse words won't solve your problems. Take a minute for yourself to walk around, scream into a pillow, write angry things on a paper then ball it up and throw it away. "UGH." "AHHH!" "I just need to breathe for a minute"
5. The Stage of Realization
It's the "I need to get my shit together" feeling you get after hours of doing nothing. This happens numerous times throughout the final exam process. You'll start studying or working on something and you'll end up side-tracked and distracted and you'll get yourself behind. But time is running out. Get to work. "I'll just be on my phone for a minute." "I haven't been on Instagram all day." "Well crap, there goes another hour I've spent on my phone." "I can't, I have so much work to do."
6. The "I just need to cry this one out" Stage
If someone ever tells you crying about grades is dumb, walk away. They're dumb. Everybody gets stressed out. Everybody cries. If you need to cry, then just do it. "Let me go cry my eyes out real quick." "I just can't do this anymore."
7. The Stage of Depression
When you don't really know what to do with yourself. You're upset. You're a mess. And if you think about studying or working or finals, you'll just cry again. But it's time to get over it. "I'm just in the mood to eat and watch Netflix." "I don't want to talk about it." "Finals just suck."
8. The "I feel bad for myself" Stage
For some reason, there is a moment in time where you feel like all the odds are stacked against you. Even when there is a whole class of students who have the exact same expectations, it is so much worse for you. "I bet (insert classmate name) will get an A because he/she has no life outside of this class, unlike me." "I'm too busy for finals." "(insert classmate name) was born smarter than me." "It's just not fair."
9. The "I can totally do this" Stage
A random spark of motivation gets you hyped up. You don't need to make any more excuses for yourself. It's time to get this show on the road. "Just keep swimming." "I've got this in the bag."
10. The Freak Out Stage
After further procrastination done through past stages, deadlines are closing in. There is only so much time in the day, and you've wasted a good chunk of it. "I'm freaking out, man." "I haven't eaten all day." "I pulled an all-nighter studying last night."
11. The "This is actually happening, it all comes down to this" Stage
Right before exams, a glimmer of hope arises. Even with some bumps along the way, you've made it to finals week. Just believe in yourself and everything will be okay. I mean, you should've been preparing for this all year, right? "Dear God, Please allow me to get an A on all of my finals. Amen." "I'm gonna poop my pants I'm so nervous." "R.I.P. me"
12. The Celebratory Stage
When finals are over and you could care less how you did on them. You feel alright about everything. But it doesn't matter because you know you can do nothing about it now. "I can finally sleep in peace." "I need to go party now." "I will not set foot in the library until next semester."
13. The "Now I can breathe and enjoy Christmas" Stage
Time for Christmas movies. Time for warm, fuzzy socks. Time for hot chocolate. Time to sit by the fireplace. Time to get those ugly Christmas sweaters out of the attic. It's Christmas time, leave the whole semester behind you. You've learned some lessons along the way, what to do more of and less of next semester. But for right now, spend time with family and friends, and do everything but think about school. And by some miracle, Santa will save the coal for someone else's stocking.