As December starts we are excited 😁 and fearful 😨. Last night I saw the perfect line on Twitter for the start of December 🎄, "Christmas is close but finals are closer." Between finals, work to pay for next semester, and sleep for finals, I've not had time to take a proper shower 🛁. I'm going on four days; while I have washed my hair and rinsed off, I miss a good long soak in hot water🛀. In this week before finals, a term I will coin the pre-finals, this is a list of the finals you'll face.
1. The Presentation
Most students' greatest fear is the dreaded 😱 presentation. As dreaded as this final is, most students do not stress over it with hours of study or preparation. I, myself, take presentations in stride and waste no sweat on them because I don't fear them.
2. The Final Paper
Any paper really for that matter is rough. When selecting the meme for the paper I could not decide between the one selected and the Anakin Skywalker meme (Ah, here is that one is too).
It is likely we go through both phases when writing the final paper, tears and rage 😡 as a planet burns behind you. Also, crying tears 😭 that have their own substance in an ocean.
3. The Exam: Questions
What meme series is complete without a little Hunger Games? The exam is probably the single worst final in existence. The thought of them makes me sick 🤢. We probably all look like Katniss in this picture when we face our exams. This is basically when we decide the world 🌎 would be better off exploding 💣 than to have to complete this exam.
4. The Group Project
But really though, there is not really much else to say because the graph covers it all. This year I had a partner (kill me now) and a project that should have take roughly 6-8 hours to work on. However, doing this project almost completely solo took 12 🕛hours.
5. The Combo Finals
As if just a single exam is not bad enough, right? "Oh, you have a paper due for your final exam? Here, present your findings in class for ten minutes!" 📚 O you hear, "Here is a hundred questions for you to answer and don't forget to write the short essay at the end of the exam." Worst of all, "This is a paper you guys can write together." You write the whole thing, and your partner screws you only to take the grade.
As a little extra gift, I wrote you all a parody to remember college finals called: "My Finals Things" (a parody of "My Favorite Things")
Five nights of no sleep and caffeine for the week
Four different papers and two tests
Long term depression and pills to match
These are a few of the finals things
Migraines for days and helpless friends
No help from friends on these stupid projects
No sun or fresh air, inside for three days
These are a few of the finals things
Girls in grey sweats and such messy buns
Guys with no showers and blood-shot red eyes
Black letter D’s barely changing to C’s
These are a few of the finals things
When the grades come, when the class ends
When I’m feeling good
I simply remember these finals things
And then I don’t feeeeeeeeel so well
