I never thought that I would see the day that I would get over you, but here it is. I saw you with her and you looked happy, the type of happy that I always wanted you to be even if it wasn't going to be with me. Today was the day that I finally stopped.
I stopped searching your name on Twitter to see what you were posting. I stopped looking through girls' likes to search for your name. I stopped looking for your name when I check who watched my Snapchat stories. I stopped wishing you would finally call or text me to start things over again. I stopped wondering what you were doing all day, every day. I stopped worrying if you were doing okay or simply how your day was. I stopped waiting for you to realize what you lost. I thought it all would never stop, until everything that had to do with you finally did, and that did it: finally all stopped. I felt whole again, even without you. I am finally happy without you.
You were one of those people that I thought I would need forever, I searched for you in every person I talked to and dated, but truly, there was only you. I realized that I would never find you again unless you came back into my life, which I knew would never happen. The truth is, I'm not good at letting go and moving on, you were my knight in shining armor, my best friend. I wanted you to be there forever, but obviously there were other plans for me and I am so glad.
I thought that when you started talking to me again that next summer we could start over and become something better, but you had other plans. Your kind words and kind actions made me feel like we were back to our old selves. Looking back on that now, you didn't have any future plans with me, and we had nothing together. I remember being so hurt, sad, angry and every single emotion you could possibly feel. I thought I accepted that you were gone a long time ago, but today I actually did.
I'm going to stop looking for you in every person I talk to. I'm going to put myself out there again like I've never been hurt before. You made me hold myself back because I was waiting to give you that type of attention, not someone else. It isn't fair to the people I have hurt, just because of you. I first needed to stop being so angry at you, angry for the way you treated me, angry for how things ended, and angry that I never got closure. But, most people don't get closure and I needed to realize that things won't always go my way. I had to stop being angry at myself, I didn't do anything and at that point. I thought I ruined everything and that I did this to us; it was actually you that did this to us.
You have no control over my life anymore.
I am finally doing things for myself.
I am finally over you and actually moving on.
