I had been with my now ex-boyfriend for three years and we both admittedly thought we would end up together, we just had to make it through college and get good jobs first. That was the plan and we were sticking to it. Until one day, we were just not happy. It did not matter if we were actually doing anything wrong, we were just two people stuck in a relationship because we were dating for almost three years and we had already invested so much time and emotion.
How do you stay with someone when you know both of you are not happy? How do you go through months of just sitting there with a fake smile on your face? Well you do not or should not, at least. You should be happy and excited to go through life together. Staying with someone just because people have been together for a long time or because you have invested, a lot of emotion just is not the way to go.
I had eventually ended the best three years of my life thus far. I did it because he and I both knew we were not happy. I would look him in the eyes and see it that he felt miserable and stuck. I looked at him and just felt heartbreak. Something I greatly regret is not taking time to ourselves once we broke up. For about a year, we were still talking all of the time and hanging out. We had always agreed to be friends if we broke up because we never thought it would actually happen. Let me tell you, being friends with your ex is never something that is easy.
For the last year and a half, pretty much, we talked but we would still argue about everything that happened in the time of our relationship and we were beating a dead horse. Since we had broken up I tried so hard to get over him and I could not do it for the life of me. I thought maybe there was still a chance but then he could not hug me how he usually hugged me because he had another girl in his life. Do not get me wrong she is nice, but it officially meant we could not work out anymore.
I can now honestly say I am genuinely happy after our break up. I took the initiative a few weeks ago to block his number, delete him off Facebook, cut off all communication, and am now better than ever. Becoming genuinely happy with life does not come easy and it takes a lot of perspective/reflection about your life, those in it, and yourself. I realized that holding on to that feeling of heartbreak is holding me back from being so utterly happy with life.
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” –Thich Nhat Hanh
The second I let go of that chapter of my life and realized I need to be happy with myself, in my own life, doing what I love is the second I gained my life back. Being unhappy is not only cheating yourself but it is cheating everyone around you as well because nobody wants to be around individuals who are just not happy. For the longest time, I was happy with my friends/family, or school, or work. It takes a lot of motivation to have a successful life to be genuinely happy with life. Being genuinely happy with life and being content with how everything is going is the greatest feelings in the world.
If you honestly think you are unhappy then do something about it, make a change, do something drastic but do not waste this life being unhappy!