The last two years have literally been a never-ending roller coaster, the kind that's steady for about 30 seconds and then twirls you around three times and upside down five times before bringing you to the next whirlwind of surprises. And in the last year, I've been doing a lot of soul searching. I just want to figure out who I am in this world and I want to know who I want to be. I've had a lot of ups and downs with a guy that I love — so many ups and downs that anyone would call me ridiculous for even thinking of a future with him. But I love him beyond measure and I know that boy loves me, too. So with that being said, these are 11 very important things I've learned that I want in life and love, out of a soulmate and myself.
1. Know your worth.
Never put yourself in a situation where someone doesn’t recognize your value. You’re more than what people see on the outside and you should never let someone tell you otherwise.
2. If you’re not good with communication (in any type of relationship), try your best to work on it.
There is nothing worse than looking back on an argument and realizing how embarrassing it was that you didn’t even think things through before you started the argument and started raising your voice. Take the time to think about your words and how they can impact someone before you let them out.
3. Always be willing to do what it takes to make things work for someone who makes the good worth going through the bad.
Try working through the little issues and make sure they don't turn into big problems. Make sacrifices and compromises that will make your relationship even stronger. Strive to know whole-heartedly that you’re who he/she wants and that there are things you could work on, but for them to know that you’re willing to work on them and will work on them for him/her because you love them.
4. Know the respect that you deserve.
And never, ever settle for anything less.
5. Stop digging through your partner's past to find demons in their closet and making accusations.
It isn’t fair to them; people change. And it isn’t fair to you to make yourself stress about mistakes they’ve made. No one is perfect.
6. Drugs ruin lives and all sorts of relationships.
Try to steer clear from people who associate themselves with drugs in any way. There's no future in that, plain and simple — only pain and suffering.
7. Get to know your partner on a deeper level than the day-to-day.
It’s so important to know what brings people up and what brings them down. Get to know their hopes and dreams. Find out what they want in life, how they want to get there, and what you can do to help. A genuine interest in their life will show them how much you truly care and hopefully you do.
8. Giving people their space in a relationship is important.
It’s nice to be with your lover all the time, but it’s also so nice to go out with your friends (whether it be to dinner or to a girls' night in with movies and junk food) and know that your significant other trusts you and isn’t sitting at home worried and constantly texting you. You’ll probably want your space too, so try to give them theirs.
9. Be adventurous!
Be willing to try new things with someone you love. It’s an awesome way to get closer in a relationship and possibly find something new to love. Explore new towns, try new hobbies, go to dinner somewhere you’ve never been, stay up all night in bed talking about life — whatever it is that could be new for you and your lover, try it!
10. Before trying to change someone (which you should never try to do), take a look at yourself.
Think of all the things you want to change about yourself and think of how great it would be if you worked on yourself rather than nitpicking at your significant other every time they do that thing you don’t like. Be a better man/woman and your partner should want to do the same.
11. All in all, love yourself before anything else.
Be the best you possible. Strive for a happy soul and a happy life.
