It's is no walk in the park. You will not wake up the morning after your mom marries your step dad and feel like any ordinary family. Nor will you immediately be able to accept your step siblings as your own. Even the dog is now part of the family. Talk about doubling your immediate family overnight.
If only it was easy, though. There is just so much time that you missed in their lives and that they missed in yours. Heck, I am 19 years old, a lot has happened in my life that has made me who I am today that these people, who were strangers just a few years ago, know nothing about.
The struggles do not end with simply not being there for each other's pasts. As separate families, we have our own quirky traditions. But together, it is a constant struggle of deciding which ones to keep, which ones to discontinue, and figuring out when it is time to make new traditions as a whole. For example, do we wake each other up before the sun rises to open Christmas presents? Do we bake cookies from scratch or buy the pre-made dough? Do we decorate the Christmas tree with homemade ornaments from elementary school or the ones you can buy mass amounts of at Garden Ridge?
There is no rule book. No guidelines to tell you how long it will take to be a real family. The marriage license says we are a real family but the awkward family photos tell a different story.
I read somewhere that it takes about five years to feel normal. To feel like a complete family. In my story, we are on year number three. It has gotten a lot better, but I think the hardest thing is knowing this is for always. These people are my family and they are not going anywhere. They will be my (step) brother, (step) sister and (step) dad for the rest of my life. So, the sooner I accept this overwhelming change in my life, the better off I will be.
I am no longer the youngest child or a family of all girls. I have to say goodbye to that part of my life and realize it won't be like that again. Not that it is a bad thing, it is just a different thing. Different can be good. Different can even be great and I hope it is nothing but that.
Being a blended family means change. But it also means your support system doubled which is pretty cool. I got a new set of grandparents and aunts and uncles. My immediate family has to pay the built-in tip at the restaurant now because there are so many of us.
So I have more siblings to hang out with and a lot of brand new traditions to make.
