"The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why."--- Mark Twain
You're about one year away from entering the "real world" and that scares you to pieces. You'e trying to enjoy every single moment you have before you enter this new stage in life. But while you're friends have an idea of what they want to do after they leave the world of college, you have no freaking clue what you're going to do or where you belong in this world. Don't you wish that "your calling" of where and how you belong in this world would come in the form of a notification on your phone or computer?
Fitting in and finding your place in the world is hard. It ends up becoming the journey of your life. Sometimes you feel like that every you move you make or action that you take, somehow puts you on this path of what you are supposed to become. But in actuality, you have no freaking clue what what you are supposed to be doing with this one life that you are given.
Society and your surrounding environment (whether it be your friends and family or your colleagues at work or even random strangers you see on the street) tell you directly or indirectly what their expectations are of you. But what if you don't live up to those expectations? It may make you feel miserable or that it just doesn't feel like you. Either way it will lead to some level of disappointment on both sides. Disappointment from them because you aren't where they want you to be in life and disappointment from yourself because you didn't realize this sooner that you would rather be anywhere else than where you are right now.
This is a blessing in disguise. It gives you a chance to find what makes you happy or sets that spark to lit the fire inside of you. So what if it's unconventional and goes against the norm! There will be people who will not approve of your decisions and might leave in the process. That's their issue, not yours.
Find what makes you happy and feel satisfied with your life and your tribe will follow.
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty well deserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, 'Wow! What a ride!" --- Hunter S. Thompson