Have you ever been labeled?
Has there ever been a stereotype that you have been called for years?
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Did you ever think that these labels would disappear when you reached that magical age of adulthood that everyone talked about?
Were you surprised when that was not true?
This is a difficult subject to talk about. For someone who has been labeled for as long as I can remember, I have had a difficult time trying to feel comfortable in my own skin. To feel comfortable in my own body, I have to be content with who I am. How can I do that with all of these labels and stereotypes?
To shed more light on the situation, I have had many different names thrown at me. As a kid, I was a teacher's pet and a know-it-all. I was the smart kid at school. I taught myself how to read, count, and do math problems. Other kids made fun of me for it while teachers praised my knowledge. Over the years, I accepted those labels as I was accepted into a private university for my knowledge and determination that I have had in school.
Those were not the only labels.
When I got older, other kids would verbally attack my looks. People would make comments like, "Wow, who knew a blonde could be smart," or ,"If looks could kill, you would be in jail." What hurt the most was when other kids would say, "Only parents could love an ugly girl." In middle school, I dyed my hair a darker color to stop the blonde jokes, but how could I change my looks?
Why was I not pretty enough for my peers?
Why was I a subject of humiliation?
Why was I a target of taunts?
How could I change my looks?
How do I stop the flow of tears?
How do I turn off the emotions that make me feel?
Why was I ugly?
All of these questions were questions that I constantly asked myself. Yet, I never had an answer to any of my questions. It just was not fair! I could not change how pale my skin looked or how my hair looked a little frizzy after it was brushed. I was young and could not change how I looked. That was an impossible thing to do, sadly.
The name calling did not stop there, though.
Other kids would call me names such as "chubby" and "fat". It was one thing that hurt my feelings more than any other name the others could come up with. I tried exercising. I tried eating healthier food. I tried eating less. I tried skipping meals. There was even a time that I tried slimming medicine and drinks. None of that worked though. I still fight with the fact that I am obese for my age. It is difficult for me to feel beautiful or even slightly pretty. I hated that idea. These were only a few examples of the stereotypes that I faced growing up. Yet, as I have grown up, I have learned some things about stereotypes and labels.
Now, I am still facing problems with stereotypes. I accept my knowledge as a gift that helps me get through college. At Bellarmine University, it is a challenge to get through the difficult courses each semester. To combat against the hurtful comments on my looks, I have began to accept how I look. My natural hair color has come back, and I love how I look with the blonde hair. I rarely wear make-up because I support the idea of a natural look being more beautiful than being covered in makeup. Sometimes, I use a defrizzer if my hair is too frizzy after I brush it. More importantly, with the help of some important people in my life, I am beginning to love myself for who I am and realizing that others like me for who I am as well.
