Confession: I hate my cheeks.
I think they are too big and round, and to be honest, I have spent far more time than I care to admit researching how to make them look smaller. From facial exercises to contouring with makeup, nothing ever seems to work. My close friends will gladly admit to you that this is no secret to them, but the majority of people I know probably don’t notice this about me. It truly is a personal struggle.
On my 24th birthday this year, some of my girlfriends and I went to freshen up in the bathroom. This was the moment when I realized I was not the only one who hated something about themselves. Looking in the mirror, I automatically proclaimed, “Ugh, I hate my cheeks!”, and immediately within seconds, another girl said, “I hate my nose!” while another one followed with, “Well, my skin is too oily.” We all stood there tearing ourselves down as we nonchalantly applied more makeup.
The worse part is, looking back, I didn’t realize this until later. I didn’t realize it at the time because this had become normal for me.
Realistically, we all have something we don’t like about ourselves. Maybe you feel like you aren’t good enough, athletic enough, smart enough or pretty enough. Or maybe, you wish you could change something about your personality as opposed to something superficial. Whatever it is, the truth lies in the simple fact that every single one of us has had an, “I hate my ______” moment.
For myself personally, it goes beyond that. I am not only my perfectionist but also my own worst critic.
Every single thing I do never seems good enough. It doesn’t matter who else thinks it’s amazing if I’m not pleased with my work, I’ve lost. So many people are like this as well, but it's time to do something about it. We are exhausting ourselves in our struggle for perfection. That’s why you are tired and frustrated all the time. Perfection is unrealistic. It is unattainable. We will never be able to reach it. There are enough terribly negative things happening all around us, so why do we add more onto ourselves? The self-destructing voices in our heads need to be silenced and only we have the power to do that. Shut down that voice in your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough. Don’t allow your mind to go to those, “I hate my _______” moments. Some days, you have to be your own cheerleader.
Have the courage to accept yourself fully for who you are and how you look. This self-acceptance slowly goes a long way. Be gentle with yourself. It’s OK to want to change something reasonable or want to be better but strive for excellence, not perfection. Stop criticizing every tiny thing you do. Love your own strengths as well as your weaknesses. Every single one of us deserves to be loved for all we are, but that starts with you. Until you find a way to love and accept yourself as you are, no one else’s love will ever be enough.
And I promise you; you are already enough.
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