How I fight negativity with positivity to live a happy life. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health Wellness

Meeting Pessimism with Persistence: How I Deal with Negativity

I used to let naysayers get to me, but finding ways to inject light into the dark has changed all of that.

23
Meeting Pessimism with Persistence: How I Deal with Negativity

The first time I met my future mother-in-law, I was sixteen years old. My hands shook as I carried a homemade pecan pie up the front steps of her home. It was our first meeting, and I'd only been dating her soon for about two weeks. He was turning 17 and this was the big family event of the season, and I was on the arm of the guest of honor.

She looked me up and down, gave a terse grin and invited me inside. I should have known from that initial encounter that this would be a difficult relationship, and that notion has since proven true. I followed that same boy to college a few years later, then to the alter only three months after we graduated. We have two children now and still live in the same, sleepy town. We're crazy about each other, but if we do argue about anything, it's my strained relationship with the other woman in his life.

At her core, she means incredibly well. She's a great listener, shares in the passions of others and is always looking to learn. Yet, there are some people whose negative outlook can't help but cloud every aspect of their lives. There are feelings of resentment and of bitterness. There are unfair judgments and hurtful assumptions and the feeling like I may never measure up.

In the past, I've let such negativity directly impact my outlook. Of course, this isn't the first pessimistic person I've come across in my 31 years. I've had plenty of friends, family members and especially co-workers who have shared in my mother-in-laws sentimentality. When I was younger, a single unkind remark was enough to completely unravel me for the rest of the day. I can count on one hand the elementary school teachers who called me down and what they said. I've never forgotten the sting of embarrassment.

Now? I can tell that my skin is thicker. It takes much more to wear me down and break me. I can take an unkind comment in stride. On those days when it feels as though the world is absolutely against me, I can run a hot bath, close my eyes and tune out all the distractions, reminding myself that tomorrow is a new day.

Maybe it has something to do with getting older. I've heard celebrities say that once you reach a certain age, you stop caring so much about what other people think of you. Or, perhaps this newfound contentment came about as a result of becoming a mother. With two children underfoot, I don't exactly have the luxury of time to wallow in my upset emotions.

While these could be contributing factors, I believe that what has helped me hold steadfast to my positivity as much as the world tries to push back against it is that I've been able to tune my inner compass more directly toward that light. I've made spreading happiness and emulating joy my focus and my priority. In return, I've found that even the darkest and heaviest scenarios are still met with a silver lining. This type of mentality achieved by activating one's Reticular Activating System or RAS.

In short, this is a network of nerve pathways located in your brainstem. It is responsible for filtering out unnecessary information and allowing you to focus on just what's important. Have you ever been at a loud party and listened intently to every single conversation going on around you? No way! Your brain would be overloaded with tons of impertinent data.

While that's a scientific explanation, the truth is that understanding how RAS works is as simple as the mantra "You get that which you welcome." If you welcome greed, negativity or bitterness, it will seem as if those storms follow you around everywhere you go. On the other hand, you might spread sunshine solely because it's what you personally choose to focus on. My mom is this way. Even if I sit at her kitchen counter and spill my sob story, she'll find some way to spin the instances into a positive slant.

I'm not sure I'll ever get along fully with my mother-in-law. We have vastly different tastes, personalities and goals though we can both agree that one particular guy is pretty special. As we work toward mending and improving our relationship, I intend to apply the RAS logic to my own lifestyle. I will embrace and accept love, light and encouragement and just as freely, I will give it away.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

15 Times "Parks and Recreation" Summed Up Your Library Experience

"I've only slept nine hours over the past four days, so I'm right on the verge of a nervous breakdown." - Leslie Knope

544
Parks and Recreation excitedly gathered around a laptop at a table in an office setting.

The library. Club lib. The place every college student goes when they want to try and be a productive member of society. Who better to explain your experience than Parks and Rec?

1. When you've finally found the energy to leave your dorm room and walk into the lib like

Keep Reading...Show less
Taylor Swift in orange dress playing a moss-covered piano on stage with bright lights.

A three-and-a-half-hour runtime. Nine Eras. Eleven outfit changes. Three surprise songs. Zero breaks. One unforgettable evening. In the past century, no other performer has put on an electric performance quite like Taylor Swift, surpassing her fans ‘wildest dreams’. It is the reason supporters keep coming back to her shows each year. Days later, I’m still in awe of the spectacle ‘Miss Americana’ puts on every few days in a new city. And, like one of Taylor’s exes, has me smiling as I reminisce about the memories of the night we spent together.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

26617
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
Students walking on a sunny college campus with trees and buildings.

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

11117
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments